Princess– I know there are good men out there, but people have there own self-fulfilling prophecies. A lot of people are using their spirit to send out the wrong vibe. They are always hanging out with people who talk in a negative way. They believe there aren’t any good men out there for them. They are always speaking of getting dogged out and used, but they still do the same shit that gets them dogged out and used. They go out with a dude and they are really feeling him, the next day they are upset wondering why his ass didn’t call. When a woman likes somebody, we get a little impatient, we be like, “He better call. If he doesn’t call then he’s a dog”. When he does call you are pressing him with an attitude and acting desperate–it’s stupid.

Lance– If a man likes you he will call. It could be the next minute or the next day, but he will call. Sometimes we need a little time processing our emotions, but men do stupid shit too. We tell women that we want them to have our baby, and then wonder why she ain’t spending time with us like she used to? Why does the baby always have to come first? When do I get ‘my’ time? How come we can’t have sex all the time like we used to?  It’s stupid.

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The Penn State scandal has not only rocked Pennsylvania, it has shaken America to its very core. There will be those of us who will say that this was an isolated incident, but deep down inside we know that’s not true. There will be those of us who think the Penn State university officials, and law enforcement, didn’t drag their feet on these young male rape charges because of race, but deep down inside we know that’s not true. There will be those of us that will say we are doing everything possible to protect our children, but we know this is also not true.

The truth is that we as a society have failed our children. Not just in this case, but in general and the sooner we can admit that, the sooner we can pull out of America’s obvious moral recession. When the Penn State case first broke and I read that the alleged claims of wrong doings by Jerry Sandusky stemmed from the mid-90’s, yet he was not arrested, I knew that most likely the entire sickening scandal was only allowed to continue due to race (I haven’t sugar-coated this on Facebook, nor my tweets which many well-known bloggers have conveniently saw fit to pilfer) Sandusky was tampering with 10-12 year old boys, adopting them, even sharing them with other sick people, mostly in plain view for 15 or more years and no one took any real action…this would not have went on as long as it did had the victims looked like Justin Bieber, had dark skin or if the victims had a fathers. People with this sickness generally don’t care about race, but Sandusky allegedly had a preference, not that it matters much to the victims. This trail of sex-abuse was far reaching and wide spread there were many people who could have stepped in, but didn’t, many of them made conscious decisions to do nothing.

If race was a consideration to those who could have intervened but didn’t, then America has a huge problem, because most serial rapist and multiple molesters are white and educated, there is no coincident. As of this season Joe Paterno is the winningest coach in college football history. Over the years he has gained millions of fans, personally I thought he should have been out of the game a decade ago. Penn State had horrible football seasons, yet JoePa (as he is known) held held on, mostly because of his contempt for little known Eddie Robinson (Grambling State), who previously held football’s winningest college record. Eddie Robinson, regardless of  having the record, is viewed as an inferior coach, because he’s black.

And here on the happy valley campus of Penn State university 6,000 student rioted to save Joe Paterno’s coaching job, apparently being college educated doesn’t mean much these days. Even in the face of the Freeh Report stating that Paterno was an integral part of the the Sandusky cover-up. The freeh Report states that Joe Paterno and others made conscious decisions to assist in he cover-up of Sandusky’s behavior since 1998, because the fear of bad publicity. When Sandusky is a long-time friend of Paterno’s and in the early 200o’s sexual abuse scandals were daily being levied against the Catholic Church. When grad student told Paterno of what he witnessed Sandusky doing to a young boy in the shower, those church scandals weighed heavily on Joe Paterno and the university’s actions and the inaction by the many others thereafter. Also at the time Joe Paterno was pursuing this storied record he would allow nothing to deter him.

Paterno claims to have told the V.P., both of whom first thought to preserve not only their image and reputation, but also the image and reputation of a mega-million dollar sports giant, Penn State Football. Penn State officials state that Sandusky was told not to bring his youth camp onto university campus. But Sandusky took his act on the road and he remained a Penn State coach, by doing basically nothing his program for at-risk youth continued to flourish. Paterno, the university Vice President, the university President and others made the decision to allow more children to suffer, somewhere else besides campus. Idol worshipers can not fathom how Joe Paterno, a man who exhibited so much courage on the field demonstrated so much cowardice off of it. Eleven victims have come forward and Sandusky, The Athletic Director and Vice President of the university have been charged. Joe Paterno offered to step down at the end of the season, but the Penn State Board of Director terminated him and the University President immediately.


In order to cut through the noise and rhetoric, here is some perspective:
6,000 coaches in the U.S. have been found guilty of sexual offenses, far more have been alleged in some improper touching. I wont fool you by using cliches terms like “these men are monsters”, because as unbelievable as it sounds 60% of the perpetrators of sex abuse, child abuse and or neglect are women. 12% of your trusted psychologists have had sexual contact with their clients. You hardly think about sending your children to school, where 15% of all students have experienced some kind of sexual misconduct by a teacher between kindergarten and 12th grade. Deep down inside we know that incidence of the sexual abuse of a minor is higher among the Protestant clergy than it is among the Catholic clergy, yet we focus on Catholics because they so publicly like to tell people what to do. We also know that these incidents happen far more with public school teachers than among ministers and priests, but the media chooses to focus on the church, because of agenda. Parents do not get off the hook either, stop sleeping with trifling, no job having, good for nothing males who will leave you with two kids and bad genes, thus making your children easy prey for America’s dark underbelly.

Note: Sandusky lives by an elementary school and has been released on $1,000 bond.

This kind of abuse extends across socio-economic levels, but for the children of poor women; her family, friends and acquaintances are the largest group of perpetrators (28%), relatives such as uncles and cousins (18%), stepfathers (12%), fe/male siblings (10%), biological fathers/mothers (10%), boyfriends of the child’s mother (9%), grandfathers and stepgrandfathers (7%), and strangers (4%). These numbers mean that 86% of the perpetrators were known to the family, but were someone other than the child’s father. What we are seeing involving Penn State and other highly publicized incidents is the 4%, so what do you think is happening right under your nose, without media attention? Americans don’t really want the truth, we only want to be pitched it.

Sandusky and people like him are not monsters, they are reflections of our own unchecked immorality and humanity. America has a sickness of absolving idols from wrongs. This happens because the system we created coupled with our worship of idols, even the low level ones, is unjust and often immoral. Sandusky was an idol in Pennsylvania, Joe Paterno was an idol nationwide, clearly idol worship comes with blinders. There are many university’s that have idolized stories football programs, there is no telling what those “leaders” have been getting away with or covering up. 35 miles from Penn State at a small High School, Sandusky was allowed by school administrators to pull certain kids out of class and leave school with them. The woman who are married to these ‘monsters’ failed a moral obligation as well. Do you think this wife didn’t see the sleepovers, the pool horseplay or hear the screams? Where were the wives of these “monsters” when the children needed them. The truth is that the wives are the victims 1st line of defense. the Free Report states “Our most saddening and sobering finding is the total disregard for the safety and welfare of Sandusky’s child victims by the most senior leaders at Penn State. The most powerful men at Penn State failed to take any steps for 14 years to protect the children who Sandusky victimized.”

When it comes to our children any and all dangers to children are things we, as parents, are supposed to see. We didn’t see them because we have sold our children to the idols of stage and screen. We have auctioned them off to the gladiators and heroes. We have mortgaged our very future for electronic images and input prompts. We have allowed bad decisions and selfishness to rule our households and We have allowed agendas and pride to cloud and ultimately change our humanity. Where were we, when these children needed help?

“Sex abuse is a problem in all of societies institutions and not just the church.”- The Pope

We have fostered a culture of unwed mother and cultivated a culture of  fatherless half-raised children. We proudly harvest children from this subculture of marginal invisible folk, a culture than can be easily manipulated, abused and pimped for profit on fields and courts. We as a society have chosen to sexualize our children, we have allowed advertisers access to our youngest and most fragile minds. We have allowed our children’s idols to be half dressed, shirtless crooners and sirens. We have warped our children’s thinking and at the same time convinced ourselves that sports and material possessions are more important than our larger social issues. We had allowed the mindscapes of children to be violated for the sake of sustaining industries we never needed. Where are the laws that prevent this? Where are the Democrats and Republicans on the matter? When will the senators and lawmakers stand up for our children instead of the corporations that line their pockets? When are we going to “Occupy” our own homes? Where is the outrage over the obvious corporate mind control that is occurring every day, every minute on every channel?  Where are the regulations to prevent radio stations from playing sexualized music? ….Where?

“The Penn State sex-abuse scandal should lead to soul-searching by all Americans, not just Penn State.”- President Barack Obama

Football is still king to Penn State, they wont shut down the program and right now people are devising ways to profit from this horrible situation. They will sell parents devices to protect children, services to investigate people, chips to implant, money will be made from books and lectures, even political careers will be made from this sex-abuse scandal. Yes, our society will pay and pay dearly, there will be profits made from all the ways that We as Parents and as a Society don’t want to look ourselves in the mirror. When the only thing we really need to pay is Attention.

On January 22, 2012 Joe Paterno died. He always feared that when football was over, his life would be too. He fought hard for his coaching career because he was literally fighting for his life, unfortunately he didn’t fight hard for these under privileged youths that were abused by his friend. On June 22, 2012 Jerry Sandusky was convicted on 45 of 48 counts. According to 2001 Penn State’s internal e-mails, Joe Paterno talked the athletic director and others out of turning over Sandusky to authorities.

On July 20, 2012 Penn State board of governors took down Joe Paterno’s statue from in front of the stadium

On July 21, 2012 the NCAA fined Penn State 60 Million, banned from bowl games for 4 years, reduced scholarships from 24 to 15 (40 in total), vacate all wins from 1998 to 2011, 5 years probation as well as other provisions. Monies would establish a victims fund. This was done to bring the culture of college football back in balance with social values and morals.

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Marlon Dorsey, a High School Basketball coach, was recently filmed spanking a youth for not running sprints properly. The coach said that he has spanked in the past and was disciplining this young boy, “I took in upon myself to save these young men from destruction…”. I can not pretend that I know what goes on in that area of Mississippi nor do I know what other measures have been taken before this incident that was filmed on an 8 second video and plastered all over the web.

The report is that todays children are doing worst than they were 20 years ago. You’ve heard people say “look at those kids”.You’ve seen them in the store wilding out. You’ve seen them in Jack N the Box after school raising hell. You’ve seen them stealing. You’ve see them wandering around during school time. You’ve heard them in alleys fighting. You’ve seen them swearing their mom, dads and everyone inbetewen out. You’ve seen them on the news shooting other kids. And I know that you’ve seen them in actin inside your own home, but still you say “Johnny would never do that”, “That wasn’t Sarah”. We, guess what Johnny is doing that, and it was Sarah.

A study found that spanking has a negative effect on toddlers, particularly on those from low-income households. The movie Precious, is the story of a black teen mother who survives physical and sexual abuse from her parents. While the movie strikes a chord with those who were victims of abuse in their childhood, the film also reminds us of the prevalence of beatings as a child-rearing tool in the African-American community. In a book called Black Rage Dr. William H. Grier and Dr. Price M. Cobbs attribute this to slavery:

“Beating in child-rearing actually has its psychological roots in slavery and even yet black parents will feed that, just as they have suffered beatings as children, so it is right that their children be so treated. This kind of physical subjugation of the weak forges early in the mind of the child a link with the past and, as he learns the details of history, with slavery per se.”

Adrian Peterson and Marlon Dorsey are black men, however, blacks are not the only race to use physical punishment as a form of discipline. And there is a big difference between spankings, whippings and beatings. Spanking is when you use medium force to strike the child on his/her bottom and not using any kind of device. When a parent spanks a child, it is usually when the child has done something incongruous with parental law and is used as a form of punishment. When your child is 200 lb starter on his JV football team, or selling drugs, gang banging, lighting people on fire, taking guns to school, etc… I don’t think that definition still applies do you?

While some bystanders would even like to take matters into our own hands, like this coach, but we don’t and more often than not we look the other way even when that child is ours. Children can see the fear that child protection service and law enforcement bring you. They can smell your fear of the public stares. But here is a question; if your child is doing something dangerous, would you weigh what law enforcement, or strangers might say, or do you just react? Children need parents, and they need their parents to be engaged. Often it seems that parents are damned if they do, and damned if they don’t because sometimes parental engagement results in discipline, but when is disciplining your child become abuse? Parents often fall on the don’t side, legal pressures make it safer for parents to disengage rather than engage in effective discipline of their child.

When the media jumped on Kate Gosselin for publicly spanking her daughter she responded with “Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first, I love my children and when they misbehave, I will discipline them as i see fit”, and parents around the country have silently applauded her, she was not arrested.

Murray Straus, a professor of sociology at the University of New Hampshire, says 110 studies have linked spanking to increased misbehavior in childhood as well as adult problems such as increased spousal abuse and depression. Diana Baumrind, a psychologist at the University of California-Berkeley, found that children who were spanked occasionally had no more behavior problems than children who were never spanked, but warned that regular reliance on physical punishment, as well as “impulsive and reactive spanking,” causes harm to a child. The hidden issue is that today people have no idea how to be a parent, how to love or how to discipline appropriately. Regular reliance on physical punishment, medication or time out will harm any child.

Most parents don’t have a problem disciplining children, but every parent has a huge problem with people telling them how to discipline a child. Parents are tired of people who don’t have children telling them how to raise children, and that includes local and state governments. Most parents love their children, some may be ill-equipped to handle them, but they still love them. Many Parents have lost control of their children and their households. There are some people who say a good old-fashioned butt whipping kept them on the straight and narrow, or changed their life, but there are others who say any form of spanking a child is abuse. Their is no doubt that the right discipline at the right time can do wonders to alter a child’s perspective.

I know people who have been hit with shoes, belts, whips, ironing cords, brooms, paddles and an assortment of thrown objects. I know people who where stripped naked infront of others and then spanked. I know parents who are basically held hostage by their children. I know parents who are at the end of their rope. I know parents that need a grown up spanking. I know two twin boys, one had more spankings than the other, but the child who had far fewer spankings is the one who says that he was abused.

People have said children are out of control. Child on Child violence is increasing. Many parents and educational systems have given up and have resorted to just medicating children. Through legislation, tools such as spankings have been removed from the parental toolbox, so frustrated parents have begun to medicating their children, was this done for profit? There is a direct correlation between ADHD, the rise of child care facilities and the political correctness of “Time Out”. Medicating children essentially robs them of their youth, even with all the harm it does putting your child on drugs is seriously an encouraged parenting tool, why because it effectively gives parents the peace and quiet they value so highly. Sadly doctors and pharmaceutical manufacturers all have a hand in this lucrative method of parenting, it’s an industry and a very profitable one.

Adrian Peterson spanking with switch

Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was indicted for whipping his four year old son. People fall on both sides of this issues, some same it is clear abuse, others say it is not so clear. As a father Adrian Peterson was the first person to acknowledge, to his son and to the mother of his son, that he may have went far. Getting whippings was how Adrian Peterson was raised, and he is and has been a star running back in the NFL. Peterson isn’t the only person who credits this physical type of punishment with keeping them on the straight and narrow path. Are we to discount the parent’s own experience, are we to disregard the parent’s self assessment of their actions? As a society don’t we want parents that evaluate what they do as parents and regulate themselves, whether they are in error or not. I heard someone say that Adrian Peterson has so much money that he could have hired a nanny to do the spanking, is that the only way for a parent to be legally safe from the pitfalls of parenting today, is that where we are as a society?
In this case, Peterson says he went too far and that is exactly what we as a society need parents to do in regards to parenting, but should he have been indicted, arrested and suspended from the NFL? People will see photos, the video and react, they wont care about context, they wont care are anything but their own judgement. But what they can’t and refuse to see is that what we have been doing a a society isn’t working. Do we bring paddling back to schools? Do we ease the laws on parents? What to do? What to do? These are not easy questions to answer, but what I know is that We as a Nation have backed the wrong policies for far too long. Whether it is knowing the harm Alcohol, and Cigarettes cause and still allowing them to be legal, Wars that we should have never been in, Rights denied people rights or denial of Military Service due to sexual orientation. It is safe to say that Americans have come down in support of wrongness for far too long a time. What I do know is that spanking conversation is something We need to have. What I do know is that knee jerk reactionist that spawned “Time Out and Medicate” have also helped ruin a generation.

As far as coach Dorsey none of us know what was going on and I don’t know if this or any situation calls for being struck with a weight belt. And since the parents were at practice the question is do others have the right to spank your child? Should this coach have followed school policy, perhaps, but if you watch or listen to the news you know that school policy has not always worked. If the case is that a variety of discipline helps to save live, are we trying to lose lives by not including spanking? Firing this coach, arresting Adrian Peterson, or the next parent won’t make the issue of how to discipline children or not to go away.

In a poll of 100 people 75% of respondents commend this coach’s action. If someone had spanked Osama Bin Laden, AIG, Bank, Automaker execs, Wall street traders and some of these politicians maybe the world and the country wouldn’t be in such bad shape. Could spankings have prevented Columbine, Newtown, Aurora, other school shootings or the shooting near the University of California, Santa Barbara? Of course no one knows, but we all know that the individuals who committed those mass murders were not spanked and we know those kind of incidences were not occurring before these stricter child protection laws. America, isn’t it time to trying something else? What would happen we started to commend parents for disciplining their children? What would happen if NEWS outlets reported that schools were allowed to used some form of corporal punishment and it was presented as a good thing?

Parenting is not an exact science but parents and the educators need more tools, not less, because if  you can’t trust parents to discipline their children, then how can you trust then to raise them.