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Have a heart.

 

Shoop” is a legendary song by the trailblazing hip hop group Salt-N-Pepa. We know the song, we love the song, we know the group and you agree with that first sentence I wrote. In the song Shoop the women espouse the same feelings about men.

Shoop isn’t looked upon negatively. The individuals within Salt-N-Pepa haven’t been vilified, boycotted, or taken to task for their lyrics. Salt-N-Pepa spent many albums man-ogling and telling men in no uncertain terms what they wanted them for.

Men and Women are different so shouldn’t their interpretations of similar things will also be different.

She raps “thank your momma for a butt like that.”
He raps “you got an ass like that from your momma.”

This is simply two different gendered people saying the same thing.  You’ll say it’s not but what you are really saying is that”She can get away with it but he can’t.” This is a double standard with all the agenda and psychotic trimmings. This is similar how women are more violent than men, but men are the only ones tagged with the violent label. Shoop was a sample of Ike Turner’s “I’m Blue”, how’s that for irony?

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Salt-N-Pepa here

Salt-N-Pepa’s song “Let’s Talk about Sex”, pretty much said the same thing, but people miss the point. There are thousands of songs by men showing their appreciation, like, lust of the female form, but not seeing the similarities in songs by females is not an industry problem; it’s a mental one.

Aaliyah goes Back & Forth while Lil Kim is being nasty as she wants to be. Khia can talk about her neck, back, and crack, where Nicki Manaj just so happens to put ice cream. Don’t overlook Beyonce’s drunk lovin’ or Foxy Brown’s sex without protection, disease infested. Liz Phair is fucking and running to Ciara’s Body Party. Trina maybe the realist chick, but Sheen Easton has those Sugar Walls.

Millie Jackson doesn’t want a halfway lover, but as Madonna said you can burn up from it. Iggy can give blowjobs for Louboutins, while Janet Jackson reminds the nasty boys that loves isn’t free. And by now, it doesn’t even matter how much Kelis charges for her milkshakes, because the double standard is real when everyone knows that whips and chains excites Rhianna.

Yet any male artist who utters something remotely sexual or unflattering is automatically labeled a misogynist. Maybe the blueprint laid out by Marilyn Monroe in Diamonds are a girl’s best friend was literal and not figurative.

These songs are reflective of the differences between men and women. Men aren’t and don’t protest songs where women lusting, ogling, body worshiping, showing them in a less-than-flattering light or shaming them. Men don’t protest those things not because they aren’t sensitive or that they don’t care. They don’t protest because they know it’s a song and you have a choice.

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Sometime you don’t want to feel, you just want a new purse.

“It’s so important that we let women express their sexuality and share their bodies.”K. Kardashian Sounds more like exploitation, but really how many times can you take naked photos of yourself and claim your are breaking the internet. How many times is it going to be about how you  look? If only people could take a selfie of their personality, social media would be the quietest place on the planet.

There are varying degrees to this sexual appreciation, but isn’t everyone different? Are men and women the same? Shouldn’t different points of views be appreciated for those differences not vilified, like Nelly was.

Forget the almost immediate call to the authorities when a males shows any hint of emotion…I wonder how many guys would be arrested if they dressed with their ass and flesh parts hanging out as a matter of liberation?

Women entertainers don’t have almost naked people dancing all around in their videos like men do. Some women entertainers are the almost-naked person dancing around in their videos.

These complaints from various groups and people are not about the entertainers having women on display in their video, it’s about the women displaying themselves and people being jealous of that display.

Of course we pretend like double standards don’t exist mainly because we benefit from them. There is also an anti-black-maleism is mixed into this topic in this also. How else do you explain Solange attacking Jay Z on camera and it being laughed off because it was o.k. to hit him because he’s a man. How do you explain Eminem’s lyrics vs. anyone’s…really.

 Misandry of the worst kind is the kind that goes about unchecked.

Women look men up and down, beyond his well-fitted suit, his lips, his hair, his shoes, and his wallet all the way to how he dances. Women look at men’s “packages,” watch men strut with sculpted muscle, sweating, pumped and shirtless. They watch the ones who grins because they look good with their shirts off and they watch the ones who don’t look so good with their shirts off. Women get a different, albeit less-obvious kind of eyeful, but an eye-full none-the-less. Yet it’s the men who quickly get slapped with some kind of condition or a syndrome for even acknowledging that they do the exact same thing.

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Here are the most popular searches for what people in the United States like…

Since women watch more porno than men, ladies what exactly is a porn addiction and what is the treatment for such a condition? I asked the question, knowing that no answer would come…

Some woman have made a name for themselves solely based on who they have slept with, but a man that has sexual encounter with multiple women is somehow a deviant.

Many women use vibrators like their is no tomorrow. There are married women who watch porn all day and other women who if they weren’t working would be watching porn all day, and they don’t have a condition, but Kirk Franklin does…

This double standard extends beyond music and pornography. Hillary Clinton said “I won’t play the woman card but I am a woman.” The largest allure of Hillary Clinton isn’t her policies, it’s that she gets to beat up on male candidates.

Karrine Steffans…AKA (SuperHead…don’t ask) said that Oprah and Maya Angelou were hoes…let’s see what happens when you publicly say it.

Many studies have found that women, without any legal restraints demonstrated a desire to control their partners and were more likely to use physical aggression than men.

 

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Is she still out there?

When the “terrorist” are women, society talks only of helping women and girls stay off this deadly path, while we launch unmanned drones to kill men and boys. Now that’s value…right there.

Women openly spank children and don’t get arrested, in fact most people are afraid to say anything to a woman who is disciplining her child. Someone is spanking a child in a crowded store and you need to go over four aisles to call the police…really.This powerlessness has lead to an industry of Spanking Shamers,people who openly say that people who were spanked as a child has mental issues.

If women didn’t support wars, there wouldn’t be any wars…try it and watch… Men would not be fighting other men if it weren’t for the vague notion of protecting their love. It’s violence by proxy because men are expendable.

This photo of Malcolm X carries a rifle while.peering out of a window in September 1964 issue of Ebony dramatized his defiance of threats. Contrary to what has been reported, he was actually hiding from an old girlfriend. Men are called deadbeats but bad mothers,just need a little help… She’s a stay-at-home mother, but she’s also single….ridiculous right…isn’t it all.

Tiger wood was hit with a nine-iron that fractured his cheekbone, by his wife…nothing was done, in fact he was ridiculed as the media tried to blame his injuries on a car accident. This being the case why would any male think that they would be viewed fairly? Recently Hope Solo and Britney Griner had domestic violence incidents and received a slap on the wrist for them, not so for male players, they lose their jobs.

There are more than 200 academic studies that show women are more likely to be the perpetrator in non-reciprocal violence. Since you may not read the studies that means females hit first and often, but it also means that if the male doesn’t take this kind of treatment and chooses to strike back…he then becomes the abuser. When women hit men it’s not being reported as violence, it’s views a being playful, emotional, she’s going through something or as the recipient deserved it.

People are people and no one wants to be hit by someone else, so why aren’t we as a society looking at them the same?

 

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Is it still funny?

What we will hear is a series of buts, someone muttering about pushing boundaries or role reversal, followed by lines that include copious use of the word “historically.” Women look at men as sex objects figuratively and literally, women are watching lots of porn, women are violent yet we pretend that it’s not happening.

There are laws that make infanticide a milder crime….why? Why are cities installing Safe Haven Baby Boxes, so a woman can just put her unwanted babies into these metal boxes?

We have slanted adoption laws, where women can at any time wash their hands of their kids with no consequences, financial or otherwise, to discourage infanticide, meanwhile men who walk away are jailed. Program on top of program exist supporting mothers, some of which aren’t good mothers, but men are put in jail when they are behind on child support.

Laws have been formed, jobs have been lost, and lives have been changed due to these glaring double standards. You’ll end up explaining how “Life isn’t fair”to children who will unavoidably grow up with a series of W.T.F.s in their head when they don’t have to.

 

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Today our society is not based on evidence and children grow up not understanding the whys in a land of equality and rules. Some grow up not understanding that they are somehow less than equal and the rules seem to arbitrarily be applied. As adults, we should know better. As parents, we damn sure should know better.

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There is a balance to everything

People notice how Former President Bill Clinton, who has been abusing and taking advantage of women for decades, remains one of the most beloved political figures in history. People wonder how did Ja Rule reached number one on the charts with lyrics such as, “I like to keep them drugged up on ecstasy”. While Rick Ross and Lil Wayne, in different songs, both hinted at putting something in a woman’s drink at a club, but for some reason only Rick Ross was taken to task for these lyrics.

In Chris Brown’s song “liquor,” a woman put something in his drink at a club and not one peep came from the masses. Is someone is telling the masses when to be outraged and who to be outraged at? Or are we a morally shallow society that allows double standards based on whether or not a person is liked? Either way that’s not a society built on rules, that’s a society built on enforceable whims.

This Cleveland bus incident, where the bus driver uppercuts a woman has been played and replayed in all of it’s entertainment value glory. What has been lost in all of this is the discussion. I have been hit while driving. I mean slapped, punched, steering wheel grabbed and I felt that she was really trying to kill me…us. So I know how Chris Brown felt and how this bus driver may have felt. Without passing judgement on the bus rider for spitting and hitting or on the bus driver for his rising dragon punch, what is the real issue…

Why did it take getting hit for this woman to realize that she can’t hit?

Why after 22 years of taking similar punishment from passengers did the bus driver react in this manner?

The Full Story

This is not uncommon nor an isolated incident, why? Because our society allows women to get away with hitting. Women carry the banner of “the weaker sex”, when nothing could be further from the truth. We already know who hits more…women, yet every woman is sugar, spice and everything nice and every man is a potential villain. What that approach has done is cultivate a culture of violence and victimization. Now all of a sudden he’s head butting her, choking her, hitting her…all of a sudden and she hasn’t done anything, she isn’t violent at all and she isn’t teaching these very same methods to the children, no not at all. We have become a society inequity, a society of  one law and two different rules, two different standards, which is probably why our foreign policy is one of a bully who speaks of victimization.

When the authorities respond to a domestic violence dispute and, in general, do nothing to the hitter, but remove the hitee what does that do to a child seeing it? How does that ultimately shape their view of society, their view of relationships?

You look at this cartoon and think he had it coming?
He must have said something.
That isn’t you, but deep now you know it is.
You have a problem and so does America.

What has this dual standard done to children, who have internalized these types of behaviors? It has made them adults who are violent, made them adults who hit, Adults who fear no repercussions. It has made the ledger unbalanced and therefore unequal. It has made males feel at times caged and constantly under pressure from society and in their relationship. It has breed a culture for men, that says being hit is normal. A culture that says if you are a male you should expect to get hit.

Are men violent? Men are not violent, which is contrary to what those with an agenda, and many a female blogger might say. However, males can be made to be violent. Here is an all too common example: A young man beats his girl for slapping him and we all get down on him trash him and cuddle her and everybody else that he’s ever been with. Now,here is the what you didn’t see. That young man grew up with a mother that hit. She hit his father and she all the other dudes after the father left. She hit his brother. She hit him. She allowed female cousins to hit him. As he got older he was a relationships where he was hit. The authorities who grabbed him hit him. For his part, this young adolescent, he has to take the hits because she is the weaker sex and speaking out makes him weak, speaking out makes him a punk. Expressing his emotions is something that just isn’t done, because it scares people, which is why the authorities were called in the first place, so he learned that lesson.

One day this young man’s woman decides that he didn’t answer a question correctly, or she isn’t getting enough attention, or whatever the case may be and she decides to test him by hitting him and he goes off on her. We all know the story “I just touched him and he went off.” Guess what your ‘touch’ was hit number 3,476 and that was the one that set him off. That was the one that he could take. That was his societal rebel yell. What society sees is the what came after. We see the elephant rampage. We witness the killer whale attack. We don’t see the role we played in the action. What would have happened if didn’t condone hitting in our society?  You can not give one group carte blanche to assault and hit with virtual impunity, while the companion group has to absorb all of it.

Why has society allowed women to be violent? Perhaps it has to do with men not wanting to look at our mothers as being anything but nurturers or since women represent the best of us, men don’t want to show the rest of the world that the word best’ may have been misused.  Most women who hit, do so because they can.

It’s not okay, it’s not. I tell my daughters just like I tell my son, “no one should hit”, but more importantly than telling them…I show them.

Mothers stop hitting.

Girlfriends stop hitting.

Everyone stop hitting… Hugs go a lot further.

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Penis Envy

You haven’t wondered what it would be like if you had one?

You have never marveled at how fast it grows?

You never thought about being wrapped in heat, thrust deep?

You would wonder what length it would be if you had one

and if that’s the spot,

You would know why you have to act confident,

even when you’ve undershot.

You would wonder why it hangs a little to the left

and why penetration at odd times produces a bass clef.

You would silently question why you have to put it away

and why it wants to; at times when you can’t play.

You would know why it needs someone else’s touch

and be left thinking why such a big part of you, really isn’t all that much.

I bet you would wonder where to put it next

and, you would wonder if that last stoke was your best.

You would wonder why cold water make it shrink

and, why it always seems to know exactly what you think.

You would know that in the cold, its partners pull in tight

and you would wonder why you can’t do any damage,

even when you using all your might.

And why sometimes you have to walk with a limp

and, you would know the reasons you just can’t fuck with the tip.

And just when you think enough has been said

You will sit back and just marvel at the shaft or maybe the head.

You don’t have to admit it,

but you had to wondered if a moaning, groaning,

heart beating, blood surging,

skin stretching, teeth gritting,

hand gripping, muscle tightening,

knee weakening, body jerking,

rock hard, throbbing

climax could even come close to a woman’s multiple orgasm?

 

For more pick up It Ain’t Just the Size on Kindle for .99!

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Princess– I know there are good men out there, but people have there own self-fulfilling prophecies. A lot of people are using their spirit to send out the wrong vibe. They are always hanging out with people who talk in a negative way. They believe there aren’t any good men out there for them. They are always speaking of getting dogged out and used, but they still do the same shit that gets them dogged out and used. They go out with a dude and they are really feeling him, the next day they are upset wondering why his ass didn’t call. When a woman likes somebody, we get a little impatient, we be like, “He better call. If he doesn’t call then he’s a dog”. When he does call you are pressing him with an attitude and acting desperate–it’s stupid.

Lance– If a man likes you he will call. It could be the next minute or the next day, but he will call. Sometimes we need a little time processing our emotions, but men do stupid shit too. We tell women that we want them to have our baby, and then wonder why she ain’t spending time with us like she used to? Why does the baby always have to come first? When do I get ‘my’ time? How come we can’t have sex all the time like we used to?  It’s stupid.

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Cazz– Being monogamous is harder than given up weed. If you have a man or woman who is with just you, then you should celebrate, cherish, and nurture that shit. I got married because I was in love. We were both in the military. I was young and it was the first time I really gave my all in any relationship. We used to look into each others eyes and talk about how much we loved each other.

Princess– How sweet…

Cazz– But then I was Hated on from the inside. She was pregnant so they sent her stateside, to the barracks and I was floating in the gulf. My daughter was like a breath of fresh air. I can’t lie there is something about marriage that is calming. I felt secure. Then she got pregnant with our second daughter. It’s funny, you know, we had this plan to save money buy a house, run a daycare or something, you know– the new American Dream. So I am working the plan, sending the money home because my time is starting to get short, but when my tour was over I found out that she was the one not sticking to the plan.

It’s a cold thing when you can’t let your wife go to the store by herself  because she a slut! You can’t imagine the strangeness you feel, being with someone everyday, but you are still alone. And before you can catch your breath all the bank accounts are dried up, the truck is repossessed and she is pregnant with another officers’ baby. Now everything is always your fault, so you’ve got to divorce her, but the she uses all of the shit she knows about you to hurt you. So now you can’t be happy because you ain’t never been hated– on until you’ve been hated on from the inside.

MG Hardie

When I was a younger I Believed in Fairy-Tales instead of making it happen for myself. I was spoiled. A college grad into my hair, my nails, my car, my man, but I wasn’t into myself. I was going through so many things I couldn’t even figure out who Princess really was. I started gaining weight. I was living and being, but that’s all. When I had to use my cleavage to get by I did. I had a man who spent and bought, but treated me like shit and I even allowed him to put his hands on me. Lance, that day you can to see me in the hospital; we had a real knock down drag out. I mean both of us were going at it and over some real stupid shit. What’s worse is that I was a few months pregnant…

I lost the baby.

I lost the man.

I lost myself.

MG Hardie

Find more hidden poetry inside It Ain’t Just the Size

I know this is not how I usually start off your day. I know you were expecting me to hit you with a provocative question, a poem , philosophy or book updates, but for the last few days something has been eating at me, and I just feel that I have to share this story with you, so please read on.

On Sunday me and the fellas played basketball, after the game one of my homeboys said that he would come by my house later that night. I said “No Problem.” So later on he calls me and says ‘We are on our way’, apparently he is bringing someone with him. He arrives at my house with two ladies and I was like “okkaaay.” I went into the kitchen to finish washing dishes, all of a sudden I heard screams coming from my living room. I run into the living room and my couch is just screaming “GET UP, GET UP!”  All I could think was ‘aawww damn, my couch!’ I asked the young lady if she would rather sit on my other couch, thinking that I might be able to save my couch, or perhaps the wood plank was only fractured and not broken. She declined to relocate. In hindsight I am sort of glad that she didn’t move Lord knows what else she could have broken.

My tone and facial reaction to the occurrence prompted everyone to laugh, so I played it off like everything was cool, but my night was ruined. The Grammys happened to be on and I couldn’t even enjoy the Michael Jackson tribute, needless to say I was glad when they left. In the light of day I could see that my five month old couch was at the very least dented, but upon further examination the wood plank had been broken.

Explicative!

Explicative! She must have flopped her largeness on my couch and that is what had killed it. I won’t go into detail, but I’ve done all kinds of things on that couch and it had never made a peep. Generally when there is too much mass accumulated in one human, that human is called fat. Ladies lets be clear I’m not calling her fat, my couch is calling her fat. Basically she is a trashcan. That sound we all heard when she sat down told her ‘Don’t sit here. Please move’, I mean really if that isn’t a hint and a half for you. Needless to say I will be rearranging furniture this weekend.