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The Force Awakens is full of pomp and circumstance and it is not a particularly good movie but it is a good Star Wars movie. The Force is out of balance in this one. The CGI gets a B-, the diversity angle gets and A, the feminist angle gets an A+ and those angles weren’t thrown in the audience’s face. Everything else was rather sketchy the plot, the pacing, the dialogue, even the damn secrets.

Where to begin…Kylo Ren. This badass can freeze a laser blast with his back turned. He can sense his father’s presence when he lands on a planet, but he walks blindly down a scaffold searching for his father who is hiding 20 feet away from him. Ren spends half the film literally throwing tantrums while wearing a vocorder mask that he doesn’t need. Darth Vader had a mask on because he had asthma; Ren wears it try to be something he’s not. Even Han Solo says “Take off that mask, you don’t need it.”

The fact that Kylo Ren abilities allows him to kill Luke Skywalker’s Jedi pupils, but he battles the kindhearted storm trooper in a 5 minute lightsaber battle, should be enough to make any righteous Star Wars fan vomit in their mouth…just a little bit. Then Ren is bested by Rey, who may be strong with the Force but has never used the force, never been trained and who moments earlier said that the force was all a myth.

I know those are but minor quibbles…right, we finally got a good Star Wars film…just be happy. You could just be happy with your mediocre job, your mediocre car and your mediocre love life or you could want more, you could want better or you could just settle. That’s not all of the flaws you could take every major character and write a paragraph or two of WTF’s on them…really.

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The Star Killer base took forever to fire, and I mean forever. It was probably the longest 15 minutes in science fiction film history. A legend dies and their love ones just move on, you don’t even feel the loss.The dedicated Captain Phasma the platinum boss storm trooper just lowers the planet’s shields because, ex-storm trooper, Finn points a blaster at her while he asks her to.

After Han and Leia find each other Leia shows more warmth to Rey and Chewie than to her husband. Every scene Han with Leia seemed forced even that one tepid hug. Their chemistry is colder than the Hoth planet.

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Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires is Part Novel, Part Graphic Novel, All Vampire

If the Republic was reorganized after Episode VI, then The First Order would be a ‘terrorist’ organization, and referred to as resistance. In The Force Awakens there are two separate resistance groups, one affiliated with the dark side of the force which can build starships, huge planet destroying machines and amasses great armies, the other affiliated with the light side of the force, which in 30 years haven’t changed the X-Wing fighter much, nor have they developed a missile, bomb or any other large scale weapon, also they seem to like to hide in jungles and dirty caves… So why are make a film about them again?

The Force Awakens foes produce an even greater respect for the first Star Wars films. All of the characters in The Force Awakens just seem conflicted; you don’t feel the evil just oozing out of Ren, just like you don’t feel the love coming from Leia. I don’t know why they needed Andy Serkis to play the Supreme Leader Snoke, he really doesn’t do much. I do know why…name recognition.

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Harrison Ford as Han Solo, Carrie Fisher as Leia and Mark Hamill as Skywalker all perform admirably when they aren’t on screen together…especially Ford. Daisy Ridley’s performance as Rey is strong and vulnerable. The Force Awaken is a remix and homage, perhaps too much, of the original films.

The Force Awakens is one big trailer for the new few films in the Disney franchise anyway. The film is nonsensical, predictable, it’s fun and it moves along quickly, but it’s not enjoyable the way the original “Star Wars” was. The dialogue, comaradery and witticisms are nowhere on par with The Empire Strikes Back. If the producers didn’t want The Force Awakens to be compared with those legendary films, they wouldn’t have borrowed everything this film is from them. After you see The Force Awakens go back and watch Episodes IV and V if nothing else.

The first half of the film is pretty much littered with bullshit and nostalgia. The second half is really the meat of the film. The film gets a solid C because it’s fun and all of the characters have their moments, especially Finn, played by John Boyega and Rey. There is a bit of hope that those two get together but political correctness already has Finn in a coma and Rey rolling around the galaxy with Chewbacca.

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No matter how dire the situation is Rey never really needs any help, think Richard B. Riddick in 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick. Rey who has never flown can pilot a starship like an expert, Finn can shoot blasters and laser turrets like a pro. Rey can mind probe, mind trick and lightsaber duel better than Yoda…talk about being overpowered.

It will take a few more films for people to realize Luke Skywalker was really just some asshole living on an island planet, playing with people’s minds so he can use them as conduits for the force.

Through the prequels we have come to know the Jedi and the Sith as arrogant, ill-prepared bumblers, cowards and dark cloak wearing idiots… The best thing about The Force Awakens is that none of that exist here. There are moments in the second half of the film that manage to capture the magic of the original film, but even those moments are fleeting.

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Half way through the film Han Solo implores his new companions “Don’t stare!”, when all the director wants the audience to do is stare. This is how easy a mark the movie going public has become. Director J.J. Abrams wants to piss people off, he’s like Quentin Tarantino in a way. They both do things in a movies just because they can, not because those things are necessary. Abrams gives us views of  hollowed out AT AT’s, imperial cruisers wrecked in the desert and a mangled, burned and ripped up Vader mask as message to Star Wars fans; that message… you are boldly going where you haven’t gone before.

After seeing this film, you should realize that those singular Star Wars moments were never meant to be captured again.

 

I know this is not how I usually start off your day. I know you were expecting me to hit you with a provocative question, a poem , philosophy or book updates, but for the last few days something has been eating at me, and I just feel that I have to share this story with you, so please read on.

On Sunday me and the fellas played basketball, after the game one of my homeboys said that he would come by my house later that night. I said “No Problem.” So later on he calls me and says ‘We are on our way’, apparently he is bringing someone with him. He arrives at my house with two ladies and I was like “okkaaay.” I went into the kitchen to finish washing dishes, all of a sudden I heard screams coming from my living room. I run into the living room and my couch is just screaming “GET UP, GET UP!”  All I could think was ‘aawww damn, my couch!’ I asked the young lady if she would rather sit on my other couch, thinking that I might be able to save my couch, or perhaps the wood plank was only fractured and not broken. She declined to relocate. In hindsight I am sort of glad that she didn’t move Lord knows what else she could have broken.

My tone and facial reaction to the occurrence prompted everyone to laugh, so I played it off like everything was cool, but my night was ruined. The Grammys happened to be on and I couldn’t even enjoy the Michael Jackson tribute, needless to say I was glad when they left. In the light of day I could see that my five month old couch was at the very least dented, but upon further examination the wood plank had been broken.

Explicative!

Explicative! She must have flopped her largeness on my couch and that is what had killed it. I won’t go into detail, but I’ve done all kinds of things on that couch and it had never made a peep. Generally when there is too much mass accumulated in one human, that human is called fat. Ladies lets be clear I’m not calling her fat, my couch is calling her fat. Basically she is a trashcan. That sound we all heard when she sat down told her ‘Don’t sit here. Please move’, I mean really if that isn’t a hint and a half for you. Needless to say I will be rearranging furniture this weekend.

MG Hardie’s  “It Ain’t Just the Size”, is thought-provoking book in which the female characters provide much spice. Hardie’s book is now featured on Afro-Editions.

“It Ain’t Just The Size” is the type of book that has people talking, not just about the love story, but because it doles out an amazing amount of life lessons. Hardie’s book is full of honest conversations, depth and passionate writing. “It Ain’t Just The Size”  is just as bold as it gets when confronting real world problems, as it is when giving solutions to many of America’s problems and at the same time the book has a solid love story. The books presentation of social and political issues does not detract from the love story between characters Lance and Princess.  “It Ain’t Just The Size” represents a new literary frontier with its style and diversity of characters from: men, lesbians, blacks, Hispanics and especially women all blended together with Hardie’s poetic dialogue. Hardie’s book is the featured book this month on Afro-Editions.com features. Afro-Editions.com represents timely information on all aspects of Black Literature.

MG Hardie will also be in attendance from 1-5pm at the 3rd Annual Authors Festival in Long Beach on April 2, 2011. The festival is free to the public and will feature over 20 authors

http://mghardie.com/

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While doing research for my my new book I had the privileged and opportunity to speak with hundreds of diverse people. I have had numerous conversations with health care professionals from all over the country. I have spoken with doctors, pharmacist, technicians, managers and other professionals in regards to Health Care reform. Although those conversations/debates were enlightening, what I discovered about the retail Pharmacy business is far more shocking.  I won’t talk about the miss fills and errors, because a lot of that is under control and minimal besides Night Line has already done those type of reports. Those ABC reports will be nothing like the series of reports that are about to appear in this article. These stories have to be told, how else are we going to talk about it.  This gathered information is from workers at the big chain pharmacies  Rite Aide, Walgreens and CVS/Pharmacy.

The “Family” part of the pharmacy was removed when pharmacies started popping up on every major street corner in America. The question is why? What do these pharmacy corporations know that the common person doesn’t. Answer: They know quite a few things that they aren’t telling us. And quite honestly they aren’t trying to help the public at large, even more disturbing is what these pharmacies are doing now. This series will look into blatant sexism, racism, harassment and more… you haven’t read nothing yet.

Running a retail pharmacy is a business like any other, so of course they all want to make money. Sure the 700% mark-ups, the $8 per pill dispensing fees are unreasonable, but who is actually paying attention.

Sexism:

Bathroom Gate

I was told of an incident where the light in the Men’s restroom was out for an entire year.  The situation was so bad that the male employees had to put a lamp in their bathroom in order to use it. Not long after and at the same pharmacy when management was informed that the light in the women’s restroom was out, the only person working (a manager) left the front store unattended to put the light in himself. It is a common practice to place combination locks on public restroom for “security purposes”. The lock on the women’s restroom was disable after a few complaints. The lock on the men’s restroom was not disabled, when asked why the lock on the  men’s restroom was not  disabled as well, the response given was “Men Steal”.

Books that are changing everything

Aside from the extra leeway that women receive from regional management, 70% of all hires are females, most of the males, that aren’t in management, stay in the back (“load” area), or are used to do most of the manual labor.. This doesn’t take into account the preferential treatment, which is of course location based and not corporate.

These corporations have very effective sexual harassment classes to education all of it’s employees. However, outside of those education classes males in managerial positions have  been told, off the record, that they care not allowed to scratch themselves.  I was told of instances where a broken finger nail has been cause for a paid day off from work. On the flip side of this there are very few women in president/vice president positions throughout these companies. While these things do not seems to rise to the level of smacking people on the butt, harassment,  off-color remarks, or pay for play type of activities, they are far from equal.

Unsafe Sex

Condoms and other safe sex products never go on sale.  These pharmacies usually lock up all safe-sex products up, causing potential buyers to ask for assistance, which is sometimes via loud speaker. What this often does is force the buyer to purchase other items that they don’t need to mask their purchase of their safe sex products. These corporations claim that this is done to combat theft, or loss, but you should see how much money they are throwing away in the trash every day.

Most pharmaceutical workers are intelligent,  nice and under appreciated not only by the corporations which employ them, but also by the customers they serve.

MG’s Health Advice If you are on High Blood pressure meditations they will be more effective if you take them around the same time every day. The average America woman takes a sleep aid two or three times per week.

Ethics Racism

The original Clash of the Titans (1981) was as cheesy as cheesy gets, but it was still somehow endearing. I still recall the specific charm of the movie, which enchanted my imagination as a youth.

Directed by Louis Leterrier, Clash of the Titans (2010)… wait. Before I start I have to say that the mobs of people who mindlessly saw Avatar and bolstered the 3-D market, which will no doubt adversely affect ticket prices, have causes at least two movies this year to get the 3-D treatment post production and frankly it is Not Good. I know that I may get take a lot of flak for saying this but it is the ‘early-adopters’ that drive the prices up for everyone else. 3-D technology has been around for 20-years and even now it is imperfect, distracting and clumsy so much so the public has really got to be brain dead to fork over $4 or more extra to see any movie this way. 3-D is as unnecessary as Lady Gaga’s outfits. (subliminal message to Ipad buyers).  The extra cost alone should be enough to make anyone balk at these types of movies, on top of that “Clash” is not a good movie, sorry. I left disappointed and wondering why didn’t they just leave it alone?

The movie is set in ancient Greece this adventure follows the tale of the half-god, half mortal Perseus (Sam Worthington). Apparently humans are tired of being the chess pieces of the gods and Perseus must lead the humans in the battle versus the gods Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon. The clock is ticking as  tries to save the princess from being sacrificed to the Kraken a gigantic sea monster. Zeus played by (Liam Neeson) is the only part of this movie that isn’t dull. (Note to self remember to change the movie term “special effects” to just “effects”, they haven’t been special in quite awhile a fact that this movie really hits home)  You know how your mind wanders when you see a bad movie, well I sat watching this movie wondering if demigods are still gods and I also wondered why Hollywood continues to stick political commentaries in movies like this… explosion, fight, look at that, he’s hot, politics, did you see that, she hot, fire, death, fight… we’ll only get the politics on DVD. Boring and tired this is one movie that should have stayed on Mount Olympus, another classic thoroughly butchered.

This film gets a 4.5 out of 10 and that’s my Film Word.

This movie is in theaters now

Learn Here is a handy list for all of the men out there who have absolutely no idea what they are doing in a relationship. Also this list is for those who have no clue what a woman actually means when she says:

Fine.
This word is used to end an argument, when they are right and you need to shut up.

in Five or Ten Minutes.
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour if you are lucky.

If she says this while you are watching the game then you have just been given a 5 or 10 warning before you’ll be helping her around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means “Everything” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

Go Ahead.
Think Dirty Harry. This is a dare, not permission, Don’t Do It!

Books that are changing everything

What does your friend do for a living?
You can’t get IT, but he sure can.

Whatever.
Basic fuck you. This is usually said when it is time for your argument to go away.

I’ll do it today
This means that she has until tomorrow.

Whatever you want to do, honey.
This means that you get to choose, but choose her suggestions, so that she can enjoy herself as well.

That’s Okay.
It’s not okay and you will pay for this later. If this is said in bed then she’s consoling you because you Can’t Finish.

Can you do this for me?
Sounds like you have an option, you don’t.

Nevermind
Whenever this word is used it indicates that she is frustrated that you are not seeing her viewpoint.

I’m fine.
If she responds to one of your questions, with an “I’m fine”, it usually means that she’s not and you may need to rectify the problem.

I’m not ready for a commitment.
At least not with You.

Do what you want.
And you’ll pay for it later.

I want to have sex
We had a great evening. I am really feeling you. I want to be closer to you. Loosely translated- I’m Horny.

We need to do something with this kitchen.
I want a new house.

Do you like this recipe?
I hope so because it was easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.

I’m not yelling.
Yes I am yelling.

I’m just going to stay at home and relax
So you’d better find somewhere else to be.

I think you’re adorable.
Sorry fellas but this means you are in the “Friend Zone” and that is where you’ll stay. Forget about whatever you thought was happening, it’s not going to work out. You are just a friend.

I like you.
While this sounds like an easy statement to comprehend, it is usually interpreted as ‘I’m still feeling you out’.  But saying “I like you” doesn’t mean ‘I’m ready for a commitment’. Loosely interpreted “right now you are on my good side”.

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by many men.  This means that she thinks that you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over “Nothing”.

SighRoll
From my new book It Ain’t Just The Size. This is an eye roll with a sigh. Highly Dangerous. This is used as a final warning because you have ignored other advanced warnings to leave her alone, see “stop talkin’ to me fucker look”.

Stop talkin’ to me Fucker Look.
A look that is Self Explanatory

Tapping of the Foot and or Finger nails against hard surfaces.

You have gotten on her nerves and you need to stop now.

Thanks.
Fellas TRY NOT to read too much into this one and just say you’re welcome.

I hope this list helps you out, because we all know that some of you really need the help.

Learn ManSpeak

The Man Rules

Some people felt that I was being too hard, or one-sided with my post The Man Rules. Here I have decided to decode some common phrases that men use when speaking to women. I wrote this to give women some much needed insight into ManSpeak. This list is in no particular order.

I don’t want a serious relationship right now.
This is relative to mental age. If he’s a “youngin” then he’s just setting you up for the booty call. If he has sense then he means I ONLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP with a woman who already has her act together, which most likely isn’t you… which is why he’s telling you this.

I want an independent woman.
This also depends on mental age. If he’s a “youngin” then most likely he’s just saying that because it sounds good, he thinks you want to hear this or he’s gauging your response. If he has sense then he means that he wants a woman who doesn’t get upset about petty things and who knows how to keep her head when things get tough or confusing.

Hello/ Hi/What’s up?
Do you want to sleep with me?

You want me to come over?
If I come over are we going to have sex?

I’m a virgin.
I am a virgin, as far as you know.

I’ve been celibate for 3 years.
I’ve been celibate for “3” weeks and I didn’t mean to write that in months.

I don’t like that.
Really, I don’t like that!

I don’t want any (more) children.

I really don’t want any(more) children!

Books that are changing everything

Times are tough.
This statement has a few meanings. It could mean that I date a lot so I wont have enough to take you out. Or that I have multiple children that I have to support so I wont have enough to take you out. Or a combination of the two. Either way he’s not trying to pay.

I’m a rapper.
I am unemployed.

Announcing that he has Washed the clothes/Cleaned/Took out the trash.
Foreplay is now over.

I had to leave my ‘ex’ she couldn’t handle a real man.
I got dumped, and I cried about it in the car.

I’m an author.
I’m broke, but I’ve got skills.

Would you mind if I poured you some wine?

I have no idea what I am doing, but I’m trying really hard.

I cleaned the whole house.
I tidied up a bit.

Hello baby/dear/honey/darling/love.
Do you want to sleep with me again?

Nice shoes/dress.
Do I have any chance of having sex with you? (I mean really what the hell does he know about fashion)

She’s cool as hell.
She is exactly what I have been looking for.

I like women who are physical and affectionate.
I like to be touched, but don’t go overboard.

I need to be alone right now.
I want a woman who will make me FEEL better when I’m with her than I do in my everyday life as a single man and since you’re not her…bounce.

Can I call you?
Let me present my resume and you can determine if I can have sex with you?

You ain’t gonna give a brother your number?
Please, don’t embarrass me in front of all these people.

Good Morning.
Is it too early to see if I have a shot?

Hey “derogatory word”!
I have no clue how to speak, act or treat a woman, but do I still have a shot?

I’ve got to get up early in the morning.
This is often uttered when it is pretty clear that sex is going to go down, so I am setting up my exit strategy, so that I don’t have to sleep over.

I’ve got somewhere to go.
I have nowhere to go, but I rather be somewhere else or be with someone else.

I appreciate it.
Ladies don’t get it twisted this was hard for him to say so believe that it is sincere.

Now remember this list is a generalization and does not necessarily apply to “your” man, but it might. On a side note: if you are flirting with us, even in the least of possible ways, the possibility of having sex with you will be entertained, so don’t get upset when you are the one flirting with us.

The Man Rules The Woman Rules