Why I Am Gay

My mother and father used to argue and fight a lot, so one day he left us.

My mother got so caught up chasing after

no good,

no account negroes

that she completely forgot about me.

I grew up really wanting her love,

wanting her to love me.

I never got it.

I remember it started long before freeze-tag. I always like to  put on

my mothers shoes.

You remember the Road Runner Show, the one with Wile. E. Coyote–

well that’s all I was thinking about.

I wasn’t even thinking about “hide-n-go-get-it”,

when these so-called men started touching on me.

The whole time they were doing these things to me they were telling

me that it was love,

that it was right.

“If you don’t do it, I’m ah tell your mother.”

I learned and was told shit that I shouldn’t have known or done until

I was grown.

I tried to tell some family members, but they didn’t want to talk about it.

It was like I deserved it,

like I asked for it.

So I grew up afraid.

I hit puberty and my feelings of love for my mother turned sexual.

And all of a sudden

I was attracted to her,

her,

and her,

but anger is what made me perpetuate it.

Somewhere along the line a part of me liked the feelings the sex brought.

For more Converpoems poems pick up It Ain’t Just the Size on Kindle for only .99!

Join MG Hardie‘s fan page

Recently President Barack Obama evolved, or changed course on same-sex marriage., by now saying he supports gay marriage, but stresses that it is a personal position. This puts him in stark opposition to presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney who has firmly pledged his opposition to gay marriage. We won’t get into the rights and wrong of the issue or the possible financial and political motivations behind it. Was the president wrong to suggest that his daughter’s friends gay parents helped him see clearer? Was he wrong to come out in support of gay marriage, but not offer what he would do to move that forward? Is he setting the tone for the black community? Homosexuals are no longer a minority, while those that identify as gay may be. Besides most of these questions have been address by It Ain’t Just the Size.

Michael Eric Dyson has called those opposed to same-sex marriage as “Sexual Rednecks”, he also called religious zealotry as bigotry. Meanwhile pastor Jamal Bryant, CNN’s Roland Martin, and Sophia Nelson have taken to the airwaves to oppose the presidents “evolution” on gay marriage. Although Barack Obama is black he can’t be seen too closely associated with black issues. He has pledged support for women, military, Israel, gays, afghans and immigrants, but never support directly for blacks. Why?

The truth is that while mass marketed black cultural products are the rage in America, black people, especially descendants of slaves, just aren’t that popular. Well, not popular enough to warrant support or action from the president regarding a defacto 2nd class citizenship, mass incarcerations aimed at inner-cities and huge unemployment rates. Barack Obama has done and said much for “interest” groups, but he’s done nothing for blacks, unless you count him telling blacks to “get over it” and “stop whining.” What would happen if Barack Obama said to gays “quit crying and complaining”? I know people will say the president’s “administration” has programs that help blacks, or there are black gays and black immigrants. While this is true. It is also true that President Barack Obama appears afraid to address blacks and black issues in public.

I find it curious that after Barack’s personal “evolution” on gay-marriage, he went to Hollywood to a $40,000-a-plate fundraiser, which netted him 15 million dollars for his campaign. I have yet to see him in inner-cities of Los Angeles, New York or Chicago, isn’t he the president of the poor and down-trodden as well as the rich and influential? Isn’t he the President of all people and not just special interest. Some have suggested that black opposition to same-sex marriage is a religious one, it is not. While we are talking about black pain, gay inconvenience or the 1st Gay President… how did the black community become so entangled with gay rights? Some have suggested that President Obama is waiting until his 2nd term to really let the “Black” out. I don’t know what that means, but I do know that black people have always been told to be patient and wait, while other groups have gotten ahead. What I also know is that simply putting a black face on it won’t be good enough the second time around.

MG Hardie– Don’t let fear stop you from joining my fan page.

For decades Oprah Winfrey has done many things to help people whether that help came from the Oprah show’s subject matter, giving her audience members cars or opening up a school. It has been said her 2007 endorsement of Barack Obama is what put him over the top in his bid to become president of the United States of America. First let me be clear, I have no problem with Oprah Winfrey at all. Oprah is an amazing woman who has overcome unbelievable odds to become one of the most powerful and influential people in the world. But what has she done with her power?

In November 2006, male prostitute and masseur Mike Jones said that over the course of three years Evangelical Leader Ted Haggard had paid him to engage in sexual activities and that Haggard had also purchased and used methamphetamine.”I had to expose the hypocrisy. He is in the position of influence of millions of followers, and he’s preaching against gay marriage. But behind everybody’s back he’s doing what he’s preached against.” Jones told ABC News. Oprah has said that she puts people on her show to empower them, so I find it surprising that this “Evangelical” leader has appeared on her show multiple times.

The Oprah show is largely positive, but at times it is a show rife with one-sided opinion, half-thoughts, sexual anxiety, victim hood, mis-truths, and dark vision of sexual relationships. Oprah did not want males at her Leadership Academy in Johannesburg, South Africa, but still there have been at least two sex and abuse scandals involving the school. Her influence is as real as it is legendary, it is often called “Oprah Effect”.  She referred to Barack Obama as “The One”, in a nod to the Neo character in the movie “The Matrix”.  If Oprah says “Grilled Chicken”, then the next day KFC runs out of grilled chicken, instead of promoting the chicken Oprah’s audience would have been better served if she had held the KFC corporation’s feet to the fire about why they are putting meat and beef in the chicken that they sell. If Oprah says “Steer Clear” of beef, then cattlemen lose 11 million dollars. If she says “I love this book”, or “That’s such a handy product”, then those items will be best sellers. Which all of this power it is surprising to still see her fawn over a celebrity, misrepresent facts and give out advice such as, telling a child to take on a bully with tough body language. This advice from Oprah places the ownness on the one kid against the bullies instead of on the school system and the parents where it belongs. What good is having this much vaunted effect when you aren’t using it to help even the most helpless of us.

The Low Down Show

This show had J.L. King, author of On the Down Low, a gay black man revealing the “Down Low” lifestyle to America. The Down Low lifestyle is one in which men have sex with other men but self-identify as heterosexual. On this show it was said that a Down Low black man “Could be anywhere, ’cause we’re everywhere”. That same year Governor James McGreevy, was found to be living this type of lifestyle. Oprah invited his ex-wife on the show to cry and to promote her book. Somehow Oprahs never made the connection that White Males also lead these “down low” double lives, unless the message is that White Males can’t be on the Down Low?

Rappers

Books that are changing everything

Let’s not even talk rappers, okay let’s talk about Ice Cube.”For the movie ‘Barbershop’ she had Cedric the Entertainer and Eve on, but I wasn’t invited. Maybe she’s got a problem with hip-hop. She’s had damn rapists, child molesters and lying authors on her show. And if I’m not a rags-to-riches story for her, who is?”  Ice Cube has produce and/or starred in three over the movies she has discussed on her show, but he has never been invited on. Ice Cube’s question has never been answered.

When the rapper Ludacris appeared on her show with fellow cast members to promote the 2004 movie CRASH, (a movies about racial and social tensions) Oprah took Ludacris to task for his rap lyrics. “She edited out a lot of my comments while keeping her own in. Of course, it’s her show, but we were doing a show on racial discrimination, and she gave me a hard time as a rapper when I came on there as an actor. Initially, I wasn’t even invited on the show.” says Ludacris. “After the taping, she pulled me into a room and we had a five-minute conversation. The feeling I got was that by having rappers on her show, she feels like she’s empowering in them. So it was like being at someone’s house who doesn’t really want you there.I don’t see why she’ll invite Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle on her show and they speak the same language as I do, but since they do it through comedy, I guess that’s acceptable to her.” This would have been the second time Oprah did not invite Ludacris on her show for a movies that she was discussing.

Oprah has had rappers Diddy and Common on her show, both of whom have used what she calls “Degrading”, or “Bad Lyrics” at sometime or another. In an with D.J. Ed Lover, Oprah said “I’ve been accused of not liking hip-hop and that’s just not true.”  That’s what she said, but it sure does seems like it. Perhaps it is a particular kind of rap that confronts issues that she doesn’t want to tackle, or maybe she only likes East Coast rappers.

Ms. Winfrey has never said an unkind word about Eminem, who has the largest reach of any rapper and is also the most misogynist and violent as well. However, Oprah took the time out to say that Snoop Dog’s lyrics were bad and refused to speak to him on the issue. Kanye West was on the Oprah show, Kanye is known for his thought-provoking lyrics, but maybe she forgot about his songs “Golddigger” and “Workout Plan”. Oprah went on the Gayle King show and said that she likes Jay-Z’s lyrics, either you like the lyrics or your don’t. When anyone else in the media speaks like this it is usually called lying, or being hypocritical, I’m just sayin’. Although her disdain of rappers is well documented, recently, she has even been palling around with Jay-Z, in Brooklyn’s Marcy Projects no less. “Jay-Z is my new best friend,” Oprah said. Maybe Ms. Winfrey and her staff are unaware of his violent and misogynist lyrics. Apparently Jay-Z has Ninety-Nine problems, but Oprah ain’t one. Whatever the case may be she gains more credibility with her supporters by not having these blacks on. By the way Jay-Z is said to have a deal with Oprah to have a show on her new network.

In life, there are many bullies and they are not all in school, but everyone is afraid of them just the same. Along with worldwide power, you also have a responsibility to make a positive change. That being said Oprah is right. Some rap lyrics are negative, some rap videos have not set very good examples and some rappers have been exploitative, but there are those in the media who have done the exact same things albeit in a different manner. Oprah like many others in the media, Bill O’Reilly included, are quick to point out the obvious wrongs, and slow to highlight the many things that are right.  Oprah as well as O’Reilly have called for clean, positive music and many rappers and singers have answered that call, but neither Oprah or O’Reilly will promote them on their shows either. The so-called bad rappers have a massive base of promotion, so how does the public know that these positive rappers exist if you don’t give them a platform?

Early on in Oprah’s career she had racist come on her show to express their point of view, but she vowed to no longer have then on and since she has went to great lengths to bring on racial uniters. Why not do the same with music? Why not with men in general and with black men in particular? Why indeed Oprah? Why attack the rappers instead of those own these entertainment companies and the individuals who are actually pushing and distributing this music, you have such a problem with, to our youth? Because it is easier to go after the rappers instead of your friends, that’s why.

Now that Oprah is ending her show, we may be seeing an end to the era of “The Oprah Effect” an era where her words and actions are followed, an era where she has set and ended many trends. OWN is launching in 2011 (The Oprah Winfrey Network is a joint venture with Discovery Communications), so in essence she’s on to the next one. Many will rejoice as she seeks to spreads much of her same power to a new era, let’s just hope that the new era isn’t just as one-sided as the last one, an era where it is alright to marginalize people like me, my sons or yours… message.

Part 1

Part 2

Hopefully by now you have all heard the President’s call to repeal the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Policy. This is a policy was enacted 1993, and since then a number of gay men and women have been kicked out of the military because of their sexual orientation. Sen. John McCain is one of DADT biggest supporters. After President Obama asked for the repeal of DADT, Sen. McCain said that he would be for the repeal if the Military Leadership was also for it. Senator McCain, has frequently stated that his staunch opposition to allowing openly gay men and women in the armed forces is based on a recommendation by General Colin Powell in 1993. This week General Colin Powell said, “DADT should repealed”. Followed by our nations two top Military leaders Admiral Mike Mullen chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates who both stated that they backed a repeal of this policy.

John McCain– “I am disappointed in the testimony.”

MG– Okay how about Wednesday when more than 100 retired generals and admirals called for repeal of this policy.

JM– “Why repeal it, I think the policy has been effective.”

MG– Hmmmm. Senator this sounds a little shady. You agree that I have complied a pretty impressive list of Military Officials that back the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?

JM– “There has to be a determination from our military leaders that they think it is a good idea to change the policy; then, of course, I will listen to them.”

MG– Then you will Listen, wait a minute that is not what you said in 2006. Play the tape! [MG plays tape of John McCain circa 2006, “The day that all the leadership of the military comes to me and says, ‘Senator, we ought to change the policy,’ then I think we ought to consider seriously changing it.”

MG– And?

JM– And what?  

MG– And they are coming to you.  

JM– Not All of them.

MG– What do you mean?  

JM– Yes, to the untrained professional your list of names would seem impressive. However, upon further examination there are some very important and high ranking names are missing from your list.  

MG– Like who?  

JM– I happen to have another list [unfolds some paper]. Now, let me know once these military leaders have reversed their stance on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. [clears throat, Begins listing names]

Col. Sherman Potter

Lt. Col. Andy Tanner

Capt. Jonas Grumby

Lt. Cmdr. Worf

Col. Nathan R. Jessep 

Col. Robert Hogan

Cmdr. Adama

Col. Sanders

Lt. Uhura

Lt. Cmdr. Data

Gen. Grievous

Capt. Hook

Sgt. Slaughter

Capt. Morgan

Capt. Jack Sparrow

Capt. Crunch

Capt. Kangaroo

Capt. Kirk

Capt. Stubing

Capt. America

And then I will listen.

 

Regardless of McCain’s opposition and the opposition of many others the House voted to allow the Senate Arms Committee to repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Democrats and Republicans alike are playing politics on this this issue in order to serve their election needs. The republicans say that military rules are unique and are not to be tied to social issues. The democrats support this repeal move but only to advance their agenda. However, the Senate Arms Committee is now waffeling on how much of the act to repeal.

November 2010 The Pentagon released a DADT military survey:

“the results of a survey sent to troops this summer and cited in the report, 69 percent of respondents said they had served with someone in their unit who they believed to be gay or lesbian. Of those who did, 92 percent stated that their unit’s ability to work together was very good, good, or neither good nor poor, according to the report.”

December 15 , 2010

The House voted for the second time this year to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

225-177


On December 17th 2010

In a stunning turn of events the U.S. Congress in a “lame duck session” voted to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ending a 17 year old ban on homosexuals in the military. Apparently even the fictional military leaders have agree that the policy was wrong. This changing of the law begins the process of ending discrimination. Yes the commanders on the military branches are still not on board with repeal, as we all know Change has it’s enemies. I just wonder if those that opposed DADT’s repeal will apologize, what do you think?