humor


I was going to marry the mother of my daughter.

I was working a regular nine to five.

I had just got promoted to supervisor and everything.

I came home early one day and there she was, smashing the homie.

The whole time I was fucking dude up, she was saying

“you’re always working!”,

“you’re never home!”

While I was choking old dude I kept thinking “that bitch just didn’t love me!”

I was hurting him, because it was hurting me.

When I was in county jail, she kept visiting me saying “I’m sorry”, this that and the third.

She even told me how much she really needed me.

When I got out I went over to her house and there she was,

pregnant by this other dude and he was kicking her ass and shit.

It almost made the GPS bracket worth wearing.

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For more pick up It Ain’t Just the Size for only .99 on Kindle

I know this is not how I usually start off your day. I know you were expecting me to hit you with a provocative question, a poem , philosophy or book updates, but for the last few days something has been eating at me, and I just feel that I have to share this story with you, so please read on.

On Sunday me and the fellas played basketball, after the game one of my homeboys said that he would come by my house later that night. I said “No Problem.” So later on he calls me and says ‘We are on our way’, apparently he is bringing someone with him. He arrives at my house with two ladies and I was like “okkaaay.” I went into the kitchen to finish washing dishes, all of a sudden I heard screams coming from my living room. I run into the living room and my couch is just screaming “GET UP, GET UP!”  All I could think was ‘aawww damn, my couch!’ I asked the young lady if she would rather sit on my other couch, thinking that I might be able to save my couch, or perhaps the wood plank was only fractured and not broken. She declined to relocate. In hindsight I am sort of glad that she didn’t move Lord knows what else she could have broken.

My tone and facial reaction to the occurrence prompted everyone to laugh, so I played it off like everything was cool, but my night was ruined. The Grammys happened to be on and I couldn’t even enjoy the Michael Jackson tribute, needless to say I was glad when they left. In the light of day I could see that my five month old couch was at the very least dented, but upon further examination the wood plank had been broken.

Explicative!

Explicative! She must have flopped her largeness on my couch and that is what had killed it. I won’t go into detail, but I’ve done all kinds of things on that couch and it had never made a peep. Generally when there is too much mass accumulated in one human, that human is called fat. Ladies lets be clear I’m not calling her fat, my couch is calling her fat. Basically she is a trashcan. That sound we all heard when she sat down told her ‘Don’t sit here. Please move’, I mean really if that isn’t a hint and a half for you. Needless to say I will be rearranging furniture this weekend.

Think Like a Man would appear to be a movie for women, but it’s for men. It is not one of those movies made for women and if the men come alone that’s fine. This movie is about different stages in relationships and gender development, how we look at each other and ourselves. Directed by Tim Story and narrated by Kevin Hart. The movie gives ample screen time to the cast of Jerry Ferrara, Megan Good, Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall, Kevin Hart, Taraji P Henson, Gabrielle Union, Romany Malco, and intermixes commentary from Steve Harvey.

Trailers for movies often say that they have something in them for everybody; this is the one movie that actually delivers. This movie is about dating and relationships, pure and simple, the audience is treated or not to varied archetypes the Player, The Mamma Boy, The Girl Who Wants the Ring,  The Woman Who Is Her Own Man, etc. Apart from some familiar scenarios (to many men), the movie manages to not only peg the psyche of men, but women as well. Yet somehow in between the gags, comedy, double narration, product placement and drama you manage to see bits and pieces of yourself, your partner or a friend that you can laugh at from a safe distance, that’s when the movie has you invested.

Steve Harvey’s book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, provides the ladies with a rule book of how men think and the game is afoot, once the men find out that their relationships are now being driven by Steve’s book, they plan to turn the tables on the women…basically they plan to pretend to be what the women want only to get what they want. There are plenty of lines for women to be upset about, and a lot of dumb situations men won’t appreciate and some of the premises are manipulative, insincere, in fact they are all pretty shallow, the problem– this is how people really behave and think.

Director Tim Story is to be commended for managing multiple the story-lines and showing each African-American characters as desirable. Not only are the actresses beautiful, sexy and amazingly bright, watching the film you can tell they actually like their roles and that translates on screen. The characters engage us with their hopes, dreams, failing and triumphs, in parts the film is almost magical as the characters often light up the screen. Kevin Hart’s comedic genius is on full display, but so is the subtle humor of Bennett “The Happily Married Man”, I have no idea why commercials for this movie didn’t really plug the substantial presence of the white characters. The film is a tad long, over-narrated and the mamma’s boy story gets drawn out, yet it is arguably the best romantic comedies ever made. The way the male characters played off of one another, how they played basketball (one horribly), how they hilariously talked about their problems, the way they bonded over their women troubles even the various male archetypes reminded me of another book “It Ain’t Just the Size”, but let’s not go there.

The soundtrack is excellent. The casting choices are perfect, except LaLa Vasquez. Each of these four relationship is uniquely different, well because people are, I just don’t understand how Kristen could have gotten rid of Jeremy’s Voltron Lion figure masterpiece… but I digress. The movie is not about how to find true love or even being in a healthy relationship; ultimately, Think Like a Man is about being real, not just with your partner, but more importantly with yourself. Think Like a Man manages to accomplish what Tyler Perry’s movies have never been able to …bring men and women together.

8.5/10

MG Hardie’s  “It Ain’t Just the Size”, is thought-provoking book in which the female characters provide much spice. Hardie’s book is now featured on Afro-Editions.

“It Ain’t Just The Size” is the type of book that has people talking, not just about the love story, but because it doles out an amazing amount of life lessons. Hardie’s book is full of honest conversations, depth and passionate writing. “It Ain’t Just The Size”  is just as bold as it gets when confronting real world problems, as it is when giving solutions to many of America’s problems and at the same time the book has a solid love story. The books presentation of social and political issues does not detract from the love story between characters Lance and Princess.  “It Ain’t Just The Size” represents a new literary frontier with its style and diversity of characters from: men, lesbians, blacks, Hispanics and especially women all blended together with Hardie’s poetic dialogue. Hardie’s book is the featured book this month on Afro-Editions.com features. Afro-Editions.com represents timely information on all aspects of Black Literature.

MG Hardie will also be in attendance from 1-5pm at the 3rd Annual Authors Festival in Long Beach on April 2, 2011. The festival is free to the public and will feature over 20 authors

http://mghardie.com/

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I have always been a big fan of Erykah Badu. She has in many ways shown the triumph of the uncompromising black female artist. At times she, through her music, has gotten personal, emotional, philosophical, and I love the way she is not afraid to show that she is political. Often, through her level consciousness, she has had the ability to bridge the gender and age gap and have everyone singing her catchy songs. She is unique from her organic sound to her style of dress both of which show her constant groove. Badu’s latest album ‘New Amerykah Part Two (Return of the Ankh) has recently come out. I am sure that this album will be more of what we have come to expect from Erykah Badu, not over processed, personal, ambient even soulful, but the album is not what this article is about.

This article is about the video “Window Seat” Badu’s new video for her first single. If you haven’t seen it, basically Erykah Badu walks down a Texas street and strips buck naked in front of everybody and lies down near where JFK was assassinated on November 22, 1963.

This is a powerful video that does with actions that her previous videos did with words and color and it stands in stark contrast to them and most videos out there. Now there will be many who won’t see the point of the video. And I won’t give you the point either, because it obviously wasn’t for you. And I appreciate the point and thusly salute Erykah for making it and I must say that Erykah has an amazing backside, but I digress.

Books that are changing everything

Is this really what entertainment has come to? Taking off all of your clothes just to make a point?

Dressing like a cartoon character to be heard?

Making yourself a pop-culture gender bender to become popular?

The answer sadly is yes. With the death of MTV entertainers have been getting more and more outrageous in this say or do anything business and all of it is about as real as a three dollar bill.

Did Erykah have a valid point to make? Could that point have been made without bearing it all in public? Is this really artist integrity? or a calculated risk over reward scenario?

Those are the same questions I asked when I saw a naked Serena Williams on the cover of last year’s ESPN Magazine, especially when I looked through the magazine and found no naked men, not that I was looking for naked men mind you.

Did either of these ladies have to go that far, probably not, but if they hadn’t we wouldn’t be talking about them right now. Let’s be real here, the “mainstream” is not checking for Badu. They are only interested in women of color when there is some kind of controversy. It does speaks volumes that a woman has to take off her clothes to be a viable artist these days and a man has to put on his to be successful. Personally I like Erykah’s counter culture attitude, but it isn’t cutting edge for her to go on television shows with her hair half-done.

How do a real artists compete with these manufactured pop-culture products? How do real musicians stand out in a time-period where the mediocre can go quadruple platinum? The answer isn’t an easy one, but it does depend on where we get our music from and whether the masses really wants to hear real music from real people, or packaged music from created products.  Two weeks ago I recently attended a small event in Long Beach of less than 50 people and the music I was given the privileged to hear there was better than all of the concerts I have been to. It was free, but I would have paid for the experience, you see where I am going with this.

Shocking videos, outrageous dress, and nakedness are not new to the industry, whether it was Elton John with his flamboyance, Prince and his innuendo, D’Angelo and Madonna with their boldness and others who were considered cutting edge with these types of statements. Not only were they out there, most of the time they were out there alone. Those artist never felt that they had to do something that wasn’t them to compete, or more shocking than what someone else did, they weren’t in the same market, but today’s markets are blended. Today we have a country star who isn’t from the country, Rappers rapping country, pop kids rapping, rappers on pop songs, R & B songs that are pop, and the blends go on and on. It is both a testament to the national oblivion and sort of  funny when you hear someone say that they don’t like rap, but the songs they listen to are actually rap.

These industries will feed us this type of empty fair until, or if we get fed up and complain loud enough and just like the media is moving the public from Health Care to Jobs, and Immigration the music industry will create something else for The Mob to follow. Did Erykah Badu have to go to such length to be heard, well we are talking about her now aren’t we? One thing is certain, it is no longer about the music and as long as the public continues to celebrate idiocy, promiscuity, those who will say whatever, do whatever, or those take off their clothes and pass it off as a form of expression I dare say that we should expect no less than the same kind of behavior from our citizenry, so Pack Light.

Learn Here is a handy list for all of the men out there who have absolutely no idea what they are doing in a relationship. Also this list is for those who have no clue what a woman actually means when she says:

Fine.
This word is used to end an argument, when they are right and you need to shut up.

in Five or Ten Minutes.
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour if you are lucky.

If she says this while you are watching the game then you have just been given a 5 or 10 warning before you’ll be helping her around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means “Everything” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “nothing” usually end in “fine”.

Go Ahead.
Think Dirty Harry. This is a dare, not permission, Don’t Do It!

Books that are changing everything

What does your friend do for a living?
You can’t get IT, but he sure can.

Whatever.
Basic fuck you. This is usually said when it is time for your argument to go away.

I’ll do it today
This means that she has until tomorrow.

Whatever you want to do, honey.
This means that you get to choose, but choose her suggestions, so that she can enjoy herself as well.

That’s Okay.
It’s not okay and you will pay for this later. If this is said in bed then she’s consoling you because you Can’t Finish.

Can you do this for me?
Sounds like you have an option, you don’t.

Nevermind
Whenever this word is used it indicates that she is frustrated that you are not seeing her viewpoint.

I’m fine.
If she responds to one of your questions, with an “I’m fine”, it usually means that she’s not and you may need to rectify the problem.

I’m not ready for a commitment.
At least not with You.

Do what you want.
And you’ll pay for it later.

I want to have sex
We had a great evening. I am really feeling you. I want to be closer to you. Loosely translated- I’m Horny.

We need to do something with this kitchen.
I want a new house.

Do you like this recipe?
I hope so because it was easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.

I’m not yelling.
Yes I am yelling.

I’m just going to stay at home and relax
So you’d better find somewhere else to be.

I think you’re adorable.
Sorry fellas but this means you are in the “Friend Zone” and that is where you’ll stay. Forget about whatever you thought was happening, it’s not going to work out. You are just a friend.

I like you.
While this sounds like an easy statement to comprehend, it is usually interpreted as ‘I’m still feeling you out’.  But saying “I like you” doesn’t mean ‘I’m ready for a commitment’. Loosely interpreted “right now you are on my good side”.

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by many men.  This means that she thinks that you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here arguing with you over “Nothing”.

SighRoll
From my new book It Ain’t Just The Size. This is an eye roll with a sigh. Highly Dangerous. This is used as a final warning because you have ignored other advanced warnings to leave her alone, see “stop talkin’ to me fucker look”.

Stop talkin’ to me Fucker Look.
A look that is Self Explanatory

Tapping of the Foot and or Finger nails against hard surfaces.

You have gotten on her nerves and you need to stop now.

Thanks.
Fellas TRY NOT to read too much into this one and just say you’re welcome.

I hope this list helps you out, because we all know that some of you really need the help.

Learn ManSpeak

The Man Rules

We liked Michael Jordan, although he gambled, fought other players, cheated on his wife, and was at times classless. We liked Shaq, although at times the big fella was just too sensitive. And despite all of Magic’s faults we still like him. We like Lebron, even though he jilted Cleveland.  We Like Dwayne Wade and we like a whole lot of other players, but why don’t people like Kobe? Even though he takes the team on his back and saves the game, still a majority of  league players  say that they don’t want to play with him. The guy has six rings for goodness sake, but when your own teammates say that you should opt-out at the end of the season,  it’s time that we examine why people don’t like Kobe. This list is in no particular order.

1. He was very selfish when he came in the league and he still is.- go to the tape
2. When Magic suggested that he spend some time with his teammates his response was “For What?” – go to the tape
3. He slapped Samaki Walker in the back of the head on the team bus. Samaki got up and started to choke Kobe. When Kobe asked for assistance… His teammates kept looking out the window.- I just threw this in because it is mildly humorous.
4. He originally said that growing up he never paid Michael Jordan much attention.-That is the biggest lie I’ve ever heard!
5. He cussed out Tex Winter. -Tex is like 7,000 years old, I mean really.

6. He called Karl Malone old, and then told him “I don’t need yo pick”.
7. He also ruined the last year of The Mailman’s playing career. -This you can debate.
8. If there is a Man Code he became the top violator when he ratted out Shaq.- Some things you just don’t do.
9. In game seven of the crucial 2006 playoffs Vs. Phoenix, Kobe let it be known that he quit on the team, by standing 6 feet above the three point line watching and waving to his teammates for much of the second half. You saw him do it, you just didn’t know what he was doing, so Charles Barkley called him out on air by saying “Kobe quit that night, plain and simple”.- go to the tape.
10. He’s a whiner- go to the tape(s).


11. He forced L.A.’s mayor to get off the parade bus. That day Kobe could be heard saying “I’m being infringed upon”. – Personally I might have done the same thing, but the mayor was crucial in helping the Lakers have a Parade in the first place.
12. He is Defensively Overrated. Back in the day Shaq was frowning on everybody that got past Kobe… and they did get past him. Now he has three seven footer behind him.

13. He made Filmmaker Spike Lee stand at his private gated community for an hour and still didn’t buzz him in, or come out to talk with him. -I would say watch “Kobe Doing Work”, but do so at your own risk not because I suggested it.
14. His feud with Phil Jackson.- The Zen Master
15. His Trade *explicative* Bynum, or I’ll be in Chicago Talk.
16. One minute before Lebron James was the Cleveland Cavaliers Number One Overall draft pick. Kobe chose to announced that we was opting out of his Lakers’ contract, effectively stealing Lebron’s spotlight.

17. In 1999 he was the only NBA player that voted to continue The Strike!
18. Lebron is fast approaching, but Kobe is the most Ref-Aided NBA Player in the game. Traveling and charging are supposed to be illegal.
19. Kobe didn’t change his jersey from eight to twenty-four for money, as Adrian Wojnaroswki has suggested, he did so that everybody would forget that he was charged with bending a young girl over a chair in Denver.

20. Kobe has a noted penchant for being sensitive, rhat’s when he won’t pass to his teammates even when they are open. See trust issues.

21. In game 5 of 2010 Western Conference Final, Kobe ruined his, Jordan to Paxon, Jordan to Kerr, Jordan to Wennington moment. Against the Phoenix  Suns in the 4th quarter with the game tied and 8 seconds left on the game clock Kobe dribbled into the right corner, double teamed.  Kobe elevated and shot an air-ball, which Ron Artest quickly grabbed  and banked in for the win.  For those that don’t know if you are double teamed that means that one of your teammates is wide open.

22. He has to be reminded every single season that he has Teammates. He usually has to be called out by team players and media.

23. An hour after Kobe and Shaq agreed with Lakers management to stop all the media bad blood between each other. Kobe called sportscaster Jim Gray to hold a private interview where he proceeded to call Shaq fat, out of shape and milking his toe injury for extra time off. Bad form Kobe, bad form.

24.  Kobe (Mr. Clutch) makes a little less than one of every three shots when The Lakers are down two points, one point, tied, or on the final ball possession, this stats actually which makes him one of the worst performers among players with at least 30 attempts in those situations.

25. After making 300 Million dollars during his career, with the NBA lock out in full swing, Kobe feels neglected. He saw how the media fawned over Lebron and his “Decision”. He chaffed at the way the media followed Carmelo’ Drama so he floated the idea of playing in the Italian league with Virtus Bologna for $300,000 to $1,000,000 per game. Great way to show solidarity and maintain the players leverage. He knew the NBA owners not only profit from not paying the players during the lockout, but they also want the players to play overseas to help grow the brand for future European expansion. Just enjoy the time off, try going back to school.

26. While in church Kobe thought that a man was taking photos of he and his wife. Kobe grabbed the man’s wrist and took his cellphone. Kobe returned the man’s cellphone after going through it to make sure that no photos of his family were on it.

27. In 2011 and 2012, The saga with center Dwight Howard played out longer than it should have for the Orlando Magic and the rest of the League, why? Because when Howard called Kobe to see what his thoughts would be on the Los Angeles Lakers, Kobe said “It would be great to have you in L.A. now I don’t have to worry about defense…” Dwight Howard didn’t being told he’d be forgotten on offense, or not passed to and he began waffling back and forth on whether to stay with the Magic. To facilitate this stalemate, the L.A. Lakers when out and signed soon to be NBA Hall of famer Steve Nash to take the ball and decision making out of Kobe’s hands. After the Steve Nash signing Howard was more agreeable and was traded to the Lakers in a deal that included often-maligned, often unreliable center Andrew Bynum. (This may, or should turn out to be a great thing for the

28. While in training camp for the 2012-2013 season Kobe made a disturbing media comment. When asked whose team it was by a reportes Kobes said, “I don’t want to get into the…well we share… No, it’s my team.”

29. “In 2005, I almost won an MVP with Smush Parker and Kwame Brown on my team! Smush Parker was is the worst. He shouldn’t have been in the NBA but we were too cheap to pay for a point guard. So we let him walk on.”-  Kobe Bryant 10-11-2012 “You can’t knock the man’s legacy…What I don’t like about him is the man that he is. His personality. How he treats people. I don’t like that side of Kobe. Half way through the season I tried to talk to Kobe…He tells me I can’t talk to him. He tells me I need more accolades under my belt before I come talk to him. He was dead serious.”- Smush Parker

30. “In 2006, I was shooting 45 times a game. What am I supposed to do? Pass it to Chris Mihm or Kwame Brown?”-Kobe Bryant 10-11-2012 So much for trying around the Kobster.

31. New York Yankees benched Alex Rodriguez and were, down 3-0 to the Detroit Tigers in the ALCS. Kobe had this to say about A-Rod, “I think that sometimes he forgets about how great he is, I don’t.” (mildly humorous)

32. In the famous 2011 Pau Gasol shooting slump, it was discovered that Gasol’s fiance broke up with him. This left Gasol an emotional wreck and rather useless in the playoff.  What does this have to do with Kobe? Apparently Kobe told his wife, Vanessa, about Gasol’s philandering.

Vanessa then became friends with Gasol’s finance, just so she could spill the beans to her. When Pau confronted Kobe about this an argument ensued and the two stopped speaking to each other. Gasol became the scapegoat for the team’s early playoff exit. –Kobe violates the man code again.

32.  His song K.O.B.E.

33. He gained the nickname Black Mamba not because he is deadly as a player. He gained his moniker because he refused to speak to his teammates on the court, instead he would make a hissing sound when he wanted the ball given to him. Naturally his teammates started called him the Black Mamba.

34. “I almost won an MVP with Smush Parker and Kwame Brown on my team,”

35. During his Kobe and the Kids time with the Lakers, Kobe on the court the Lakers were -13.2, and +7.1 with him on the bench.

36. His refusal to say when he will actually retire, which held up the already lengthy Laker rebuilding process. Kobe and the kids lingered on for years.

37. After a story int he newspaper reported that he had tanked a game to spite Shaq. Kobe went up to each teammate with newspaper in-hand and asked, “Did you say this Motherf&^%er?… Did you say this Motherf&^%er?”

38. He once tried to beat up Tyronne Lue for blocking his shot during practice.

I could continue to list things,  but after that K.O.B.E. song I really need to stop.

Reasons Why People Like Kobe
I made this list for those that don’t care, now remember that these are in no particular order:

1. He’s Got One Hell of a Game, and he’s had One Hell of a Career and for most that is all that matters.

The Black Mamba

MG Hardie

1244170986600

 

 

I am Daddy, overworked and under appreciated.
The one who let's you sleep late on Saturday and got your
 hair braided.
I am the homework harasser, face washer, with a little twist of bath.
I am the one you told new jokes too, just to see if I would laugh.
I am the one who helped you with History and introduced you to
  relatives you never knew.
And I am the one who spanked you when you filled your aunties
  eye with glue.
I am Daddy, I leave ideas out there for you, to linger.
I am the one who takes care of you when you are sick
  and bandage fingers.
I am the one with little to no income,
 but of every crumb I have, you've had some.
I am the one who lost arguments just to save face.
I am the one who told you not to play so much
  and how to say Grace.
I am the one always pushing, challenging you to do your best.
I taught you how to read, ride a bike, and how to play chess.
I am Daddy, killer of spiders and builder of tents.
I am the one who taught you the difference between
  two nickels and ten cents.
I am the one who showed you how to go to bed without
  any light.
Without me your shoes would slip off because they wouldn't
  be tied tight.
I am Daddy discipliner extraordinaire, the one you told about your
  fears and dreams.
The who who told you that you're not as slick as you think
  and that things aren't as bad as they seem.
I am Daddy... And I love you. 

Answer: Host an authors’ festival. These legendary, award winning and noted authors will be part of Long Beach Public Library’s celebration of national library month. The Mayor of Long Beach, Mr. Bob Foster, will proclaim April 4, 2009 as Black Authors’ Festival Day. The proclamation will be presented during The Black Authors’ Festival in Long Beach. This historic festival is sponsored by award winning authors Sunny Nash and Aaron L. Day. This proclamation illuminates the efforts of great black authors and their contributions to the world of literature which are broad, vital, and significant.

 

The proclamation by the Mayor’s Office will only be one piece of the festival. The accomplishments, and contributions to the world of literature, by Dr. Maya Angelou, and Professor John Hope Franklin, will be honored at this first event. “Black writings and expression need to be recognized because of what it has accomplished. This is an historical moment that is larger than an idea, a philosophy, or one single person” said author MG Hardie, who initiated the proclamation.

 

The Long Beach Black Authors’ Festival will deliver an exciting day full of substantive and lively interactions with outstanding writers of all genres. These events is free to the public and allows attendees and fans the opportunity to engage with a wide array or authors, have their books signed, ask questions, and learn more about the writing and publishing process. http://www.lbpl.org/location/main_library

 

Scheduled to appear:

Autrilla Watkins Scott – ‘Stories From The Past’ and the first Long Beach African American to have a street named in her honor and Bill Clinton’s babysitter.

Doris Topsy-Elvord‘No Mountain High Enough’ and the first African American woman to be elected to the Long Beach City Council; the first female Long Beach Vice Mayor. (978-0943233987)

Bobbie Smith ‘Breaking Through, Lighting The Way‘ (Carolyn Smith Watts) a book celebrating women a collection of historical profiles of twelve African American women who have made a difference by being firsts in their fields.

Marie Treadwell- ‘Untold Legacies’ the pictorial history of Long Beach 1900-2000 and beyond.

Karen HarperMary Dell Butler-Making a Difference‘ and author of many noted romantic suspense, mystery novels.

Evelyn Knight‘Freedom & Sacrifice’

Phyllis VenableThe Heritage of African Americans In Long Beach’

Aaron L. Day – ‘History Lessons’. Aaron L. Day’s books have included genealogy/reference guides, essays, poems, and short stories about ethical questions, moral dilemmas, history, and special people. (978-0741424433)

 

Ernest McBride, Jr. – ‘Fighting For The People will explore the civil rights leader’s personal, professional and political life of a civil rights pioneer.

 

Anthony Parnell– ‘The 7 Laws of Stress Management/ Healing Through Writing’ has introduced concepts centered on writing as a tool for facilitating personal and organizational growth with solution-oriented philosophy for addressing complex problems. (978-0595456604, 978-0595346424)

 

Rufus Butler – ‘Black Energy’ author and creator of ground breaking entertaining books for children of all ages such as, Gallop and Swing!

 

Naomi Rainey‘Family Tree/Love Peace & Harmony,’ (Otis G. Sanders).

 

Darick J. Simpson‘Who Will Be There’ This artist mixes spoken word with a smooth jazz flavor on the subject of unconditional love in relationships of all kind.

MG Hardie – ‘EveryDay Life’ the raw, terribly smart, humorous, political hip hop book. (978-1605940366)  

Lacey C. Clark – ‘Celebrate HER Now!An Interactive Guide to Loving Ourselves and Embracing Female Youth of the Hip-Hop Generation. (978-1-4116-8591-8)

 

Stephanie Butler‘My Body Is The Temple: Encounters and Revelations of Sacred Dance & Artistry‘ specializes in teaching on the spiritual disciplines, principles, and techniques of liturgical and prophetic dance, biblical dream interpretation, and spiritual warfare in a radically unique way. (978-1591601203)

Paul Craft – ‘Christ Second Baptist Church: Centennial Yearbook 

Barnes & Noble– ‘Bigmamma Didn’t Shop At Woolworths’

 

This historic festival will be held in the auditorium lobby with book signing from 12-4 p.m. with a program from 1-230 p.m. The Long Beach authors’ festival will truly have something for everyone featuring autobiographies, children’s books, empowerment, history books, inspirational a play, pictorials, self-help, spoken word, success stories and urban titles.

http://www.eyethinkinc.com

http://www.banksday.com

http://www.karenharperauthor.com

http://www.longbeachblackhistory.sunnynash.com/Fightingforthepeople.html

http://breakingthrough.sunnynash.com

http://breakingthrough.sunnynash.com/doristopsyelvord.html

http://www.newthoughtmanagement.com/index.html

http://www.mghardie.com

http://www.teen-girl-self-esteem.com/about-sisters-sanctuary.html

http://www.stephaniebutler.com/index.html

 

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Contact: Co-Presenter, Aaron L. Day (562) 634-6708 or email: adaydec@aol.com

Contact: Co-Presenter, Sunny Nash (562) 951-9309 or email: snash@earthlink.net

 

 

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In case you hadn’t heard that Attorney General Eric Holder and the Justice Department will no longer have DEA agents or the government resources used to raid California cannabis clubs. Why, the official reasoning is that the government has more important thing to do than stopping people with cancer from easing their pain and arresting patients. The real reason is a little more detailed, to find out you need to have a little bit of what I like to call

 

Marijuana History

 

Marijuana is the herb of peace that is why American Indians smoked it in the Peace Pipe. Most people don’t know why marijuana is federally illegal in the first place. Well in Big Tobacco’s hey-day they lobbied, cough paid for cough, congress to outlaw the herb. Marijuana does not have a global conglomerate to fill the coffers of senators. By the way those in power do take donations just make sure they are not traceable. If you think this is hog-wash then ask yourself why do we have a Super Highway system in California instead of a subway system? That is another story but it involves money, the big three automakers and certain tire companies… anyway. Subsequently Marijuana was outlawed, don’t believe that whole crossing state lines jurisdiction stuff, besides how do you expect Tobacco companies to compete with something that just grows naturally if you water it.

Lobbiest– It’s only a small amount of rat poisoning senator… now what fund do I make the check out to?

Though Mary Jane was illegal, people continued to smoked the little herb. In the 60’s the enlightened marijuana culture gained full force, some people called them hippies. In the 70’s the movies of the comedic duo Cheech and Chong added marijuana to pop-culture and many studies were done on the innocent herb. I bet you didn’t know that the Federal government grows and maintains the largest crop of marijuana on the planet did you. I wonder what they are using it for. They say it is for research… I say half-baked research. In the 80’s the culture spread and many entertainers were advocates of the little herbs decriminalization and Cheech and Chong broke up so it was a truly a sad day. In 1995 Chris Tucker and Ice Cube starred in a marijuana culture movie named Friday this movie has become a cult legend. The popularity of this little movie had much to do with the voters of California passing Prop 215, a law making marijuana available for medical purposes in 1996.  Other states also have passed laws of this nature as well. Although somewhat legal in California the Federal Government continued to raid medical cannabis clubs. However, if you have $100 in California a doctor will give you a certificate that states that you have a medical condition requiring an occasional puff or two. Which brings us to the reason behind this decision?

 

Marijuana Today  

 

With some estimates being as high as 40 billion dollars annually Cannabis is the biggest cash crop in America and you thought it was wheat or corn didn’t you. That can only mean that people are rolling an occasional joint and some are abusing it even though you may not see them smoking it. Most people fall on one side or the other when debating the effect of Marijuana. Most of the people who are against it are because they have a predisposition to using it. The people that are for pots legalization have used it or know someone who has and has seen no negative affect of it. By the way marijuana’s use is so prevalent that you do know someone who has or is using it. In the California’s Emerald Triangle people have houses with no tables and no chairs they are just growing reefer plants in the living room. Many countries around the world have legalized the herb with no problems. Honestly marijuana’s use is accepted today no one really cares and the tables have turned for Big Tobacco. Remember the Marijuana growers and sellers do not want it to be legalized because it would erase their profits. How accepted is it?  Marijuana is the prevalent subculture in America it stands head and shoulders with the Hip Hop culture… which reminds me that I’ve got to remember to renew my subscription to High Times. You can buy marijuana trinkets, smokeware and books just about everywhere. “It’s good news for people in California who are so ill that they have gotten a doctor’s note in compliance with the law,” said Sen. Barbara Boxer. Of course she is trippin’ because people can already do that! These kinds of statements only go to show that many Senators are completely out of touch. Marijuana’s use has been featured songs, theaters and movies the most recent movie was Pineapple Express. Even the playwright Tyler Perry newest Play the Marriage Counselor prominently showcases marijuana’s use. The fact that my book EveryDay Life is at the forefront of the Legalization of Marijuana debate was named The Best Kept Literary Secret of 2008 and it is now a finalist for an annual literary award is further evidence that blunt rollers all over America may soon have a real reason to fire it up.

 

Is Marijuana bad for you?

 

That is the question we all want to know right? The answer varies depending on who you ask. Medically, no. Legally, yes. Is there a criminal element to it? Of course, it’s illegal. I personally know a 75 year old Caucasian woman who uses it. I spoke to three people this week who said that if it were legalized they would smoke it and these people were in the healthcare profession. Ganja is just like sugar. Some sugar is good for you too much sugar is not. If while on it you just won 8 Olympic gold medals, an Oscar for something you did it can’t be bad can it? What if you were on it and you just won the Presidency of the United States of American by the largest margin ever it can’t be bad for you can it? If smoking it is bad for you then what does that say about the people who are around you everyday that use it?.

 

What’s Next?

 

No one knows there is talk about decriminalizing it and taxing it. And without question this action if done right will lift all of America out of a depression, period. If the Governator get this right it will be the best thing he’s ever done as Governor, I mean really cutting education and letting out thousands of prisoners is really not a good move. The proper legislation on this matter could be a model for every state, but remember there is a difference between use and abuse and that the sellers, growers and those with preconceived notions will be against this. This is the right thing to do but it has to be done right. California’s government has shown its ability to be inept so I doubt that this will be done correctly, if at all. The hope at the moment Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, has introduced legislation, that if approved by the California Legislature, it would put marijuana on the same legal footing as alcohol. Under AB 390, adults over the age of 21 would be allowed to buy marijuana from licensed sellers, and driving under the influence of it would be prohibited. At this point I would question anyone’s reasoning for not voting for it to be legalized in some way.Now it seems that the debate of decriminalizing Pot may be a simple matter of economics.

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