For those that need some help, here is a list of rules to live by. Finally a guy has taken some painstaking time to write these Man Rules down. Why you ask? We all need a better understanding, so without further ado this is the male’s perspective.
1. First and Foremost Men are NOT mind readers…
Subtle hints do not work, Strong hints do not work, Obvious hints do not work. Just tell us what you want already.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
We are both adults. If it’s up, put it down. You need it down, we need it up. You don ‘t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. And besides quiet as kept some of us spray, or have pretty poor aim…
1. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon.
It’s something you have to take in, so let it be. If you don’t then Saturday may also be a Full Moon.
1. Crying is blackmail.
We don’t like it and never will.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
And so are mono-slavic grunts.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it
We may not be good at it but that’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Oral sex will only used to get out of the dog house.
1. We don’t remember dates.
Write them down. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. And it is not because we don’t care as much as you do, so don’t even say it.
1. A headache that lasts longer that 2 months is a medical problem
See a doctor.
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together
No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in the argument we are having now.
Most comments that we make become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat.
Don ‘t ask us. Obviously we love you or we wouldn’t be with you, duh.
1. If we said something that could be interpreted in two ways and one of those ways makes you sad or angry.
Then we meant the other way.
1. Either you can ask us to do something or you can tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
We only pretend to watch those anyway, sorry beer companies.
1. We men see in only 16 colors.
Peach, for example is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. Champagne you drink, and we have no idea what seafoam is. And don’t get us started on pastels.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”.
That’s exactly how we will act. We know something is wrong, it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don ‘t want an answer to.
Expect an answer you don ‘t want to hear .
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics such as,
Sports or Sex.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
Yes, these are all numbered one on purpose and yes fellas I know that if you re-post, comment, link or tag this list you most likely will have to sleep on the couch, ladies we really don’t mind the couch all that much. As a side note Ladies, see the rules for getting out of the dog house.