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Have a heart.

 

Shoop” is a legendary song by the trailblazing hip hop group Salt-N-Pepa. We know the song, we love the song, we know the group and you agree with that first sentence I wrote. In the song Shoop the women espouse the same feelings about men.

Shoop isn’t looked upon negatively. The individuals within Salt-N-Pepa haven’t been vilified, boycotted, or taken to task for their lyrics. Salt-N-Pepa spent many albums man-ogling and telling men in no uncertain terms what they wanted them for.

Men and Women are different so shouldn’t their interpretations of similar things will also be different.

She raps “thank your momma for a butt like that.”
He raps “you got an ass like that from your momma.”

This is simply two different gendered people saying the same thing.  You’ll say it’s not but what you are really saying is that”She can get away with it but he can’t.” This is a double standard with all the agenda and psychotic trimmings. This is similar how women are more violent than men, but men are the only ones tagged with the violent label. Shoop was a sample of Ike Turner’s “I’m Blue”, how’s that for irony?

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Salt-N-Pepa here

Salt-N-Pepa’s song “Let’s Talk about Sex”, pretty much said the same thing, but people miss the point. There are thousands of songs by men showing their appreciation, like, lust of the female form, but not seeing the similarities in songs by females is not an industry problem; it’s a mental one.

Aaliyah goes Back & Forth while Lil Kim is being nasty as she wants to be. Khia can talk about her neck, back, and crack, where Nicki Manaj just so happens to put ice cream. Don’t overlook Beyonce’s drunk lovin’ or Foxy Brown’s sex without protection, disease infested. Liz Phair is fucking and running to Ciara’s Body Party. Trina maybe the realist chick, but Sheen Easton has those Sugar Walls.

Millie Jackson doesn’t want a halfway lover, but as Madonna said you can burn up from it. Iggy can give blowjobs for Louboutins, while Janet Jackson reminds the nasty boys that loves isn’t free. And by now, it doesn’t even matter how much Kelis charges for her milkshakes, because the double standard is real when everyone knows that whips and chains excites Rhianna.

Yet any male artist who utters something remotely sexual or unflattering is automatically labeled a misogynist. Maybe the blueprint laid out by Marilyn Monroe in Diamonds are a girl’s best friend was literal and not figurative.

These songs are reflective of the differences between men and women. Men aren’t and don’t protest songs where women lusting, ogling, body worshiping, showing them in a less-than-flattering light or shaming them. Men don’t protest those things not because they aren’t sensitive or that they don’t care. They don’t protest because they know it’s a song and you have a choice.

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Sometime you don’t want to feel, you just want a new purse.

“It’s so important that we let women express their sexuality and share their bodies.”K. Kardashian Sounds more like exploitation, but really how many times can you take naked photos of yourself and claim your are breaking the internet. How many times is it going to be about how you  look? If only people could take a selfie of their personality, social media would be the quietest place on the planet.

There are varying degrees to this sexual appreciation, but isn’t everyone different? Are men and women the same? Shouldn’t different points of views be appreciated for those differences not vilified, like Nelly was.

Forget the almost immediate call to the authorities when a males shows any hint of emotion…I wonder how many guys would be arrested if they dressed with their ass and flesh parts hanging out as a matter of liberation?

Women entertainers don’t have almost naked people dancing all around in their videos like men do. Some women entertainers are the almost-naked person dancing around in their videos.

These complaints from various groups and people are not about the entertainers having women on display in their video, it’s about the women displaying themselves and people being jealous of that display.

Of course we pretend like double standards don’t exist mainly because we benefit from them. There is also an anti-black-maleism is mixed into this topic in this also. How else do you explain Solange attacking Jay Z on camera and it being laughed off because it was o.k. to hit him because he’s a man. How do you explain Eminem’s lyrics vs. anyone’s…really.

 Misandry of the worst kind is the kind that goes about unchecked.

Women look men up and down, beyond his well-fitted suit, his lips, his hair, his shoes, and his wallet all the way to how he dances. Women look at men’s “packages,” watch men strut with sculpted muscle, sweating, pumped and shirtless. They watch the ones who grins because they look good with their shirts off and they watch the ones who don’t look so good with their shirts off. Women get a different, albeit less-obvious kind of eyeful, but an eye-full none-the-less. Yet it’s the men who quickly get slapped with some kind of condition or a syndrome for even acknowledging that they do the exact same thing.

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Here are the most popular searches for what people in the United States like…

Since women watch more porno than men, ladies what exactly is a porn addiction and what is the treatment for such a condition? I asked the question, knowing that no answer would come…

Some woman have made a name for themselves solely based on who they have slept with, but a man that has sexual encounter with multiple women is somehow a deviant.

Many women use vibrators like their is no tomorrow. There are married women who watch porn all day and other women who if they weren’t working would be watching porn all day, and they don’t have a condition, but Kirk Franklin does…

This double standard extends beyond music and pornography. Hillary Clinton said “I won’t play the woman card but I am a woman.” The largest allure of Hillary Clinton isn’t her policies, it’s that she gets to beat up on male candidates.

Karrine Steffans…AKA (SuperHead…don’t ask) said that Oprah and Maya Angelou were hoes…let’s see what happens when you publicly say it.

Many studies have found that women, without any legal restraints demonstrated a desire to control their partners and were more likely to use physical aggression than men.

 

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Is she still out there?

When the “terrorist” are women, society talks only of helping women and girls stay off this deadly path, while we launch unmanned drones to kill men and boys. Now that’s value…right there.

Women openly spank children and don’t get arrested, in fact most people are afraid to say anything to a woman who is disciplining her child. Someone is spanking a child in a crowded store and you need to go over four aisles to call the police…really.This powerlessness has lead to an industry of Spanking Shamers,people who openly say that people who were spanked as a child has mental issues.

If women didn’t support wars, there wouldn’t be any wars…try it and watch… Men would not be fighting other men if it weren’t for the vague notion of protecting their love. It’s violence by proxy because men are expendable.

This photo of Malcolm X carries a rifle while.peering out of a window in September 1964 issue of Ebony dramatized his defiance of threats. Contrary to what has been reported, he was actually hiding from an old girlfriend. Men are called deadbeats but bad mothers,just need a little help… She’s a stay-at-home mother, but she’s also single….ridiculous right…isn’t it all.

Tiger wood was hit with a nine-iron that fractured his cheekbone, by his wife…nothing was done, in fact he was ridiculed as the media tried to blame his injuries on a car accident. This being the case why would any male think that they would be viewed fairly? Recently Hope Solo and Britney Griner had domestic violence incidents and received a slap on the wrist for them, not so for male players, they lose their jobs.

There are more than 200 academic studies that show women are more likely to be the perpetrator in non-reciprocal violence. Since you may not read the studies that means females hit first and often, but it also means that if the male doesn’t take this kind of treatment and chooses to strike back…he then becomes the abuser. When women hit men it’s not being reported as violence, it’s views a being playful, emotional, she’s going through something or as the recipient deserved it.

People are people and no one wants to be hit by someone else, so why aren’t we as a society looking at them the same?

 

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Is it still funny?

What we will hear is a series of buts, someone muttering about pushing boundaries or role reversal, followed by lines that include copious use of the word “historically.” Women look at men as sex objects figuratively and literally, women are watching lots of porn, women are violent yet we pretend that it’s not happening.

There are laws that make infanticide a milder crime….why? Why are cities installing Safe Haven Baby Boxes, so a woman can just put her unwanted babies into these metal boxes?

We have slanted adoption laws, where women can at any time wash their hands of their kids with no consequences, financial or otherwise, to discourage infanticide, meanwhile men who walk away are jailed. Program on top of program exist supporting mothers, some of which aren’t good mothers, but men are put in jail when they are behind on child support.

Laws have been formed, jobs have been lost, and lives have been changed due to these glaring double standards. You’ll end up explaining how “Life isn’t fair”to children who will unavoidably grow up with a series of W.T.F.s in their head when they don’t have to.

 

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Today our society is not based on evidence and children grow up not understanding the whys in a land of equality and rules. Some grow up not understanding that they are somehow less than equal and the rules seem to arbitrarily be applied. As adults, we should know better. As parents, we damn sure should know better.

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There is a balance to everything

People notice how Former President Bill Clinton, who has been abusing and taking advantage of women for decades, remains one of the most beloved political figures in history. People wonder how did Ja Rule reached number one on the charts with lyrics such as, “I like to keep them drugged up on ecstasy”. While Rick Ross and Lil Wayne, in different songs, both hinted at putting something in a woman’s drink at a club, but for some reason only Rick Ross was taken to task for these lyrics.

In Chris Brown’s song “liquor,” a woman put something in his drink at a club and not one peep came from the masses. Is someone is telling the masses when to be outraged and who to be outraged at? Or are we a morally shallow society that allows double standards based on whether or not a person is liked? Either way that’s not a society built on rules, that’s a society built on enforceable whims.

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Network television is changing. They are reshuffling the deck to appeal to larger audiences. They are getting rid of liberals, but they are really getting rid President Barack Obama’s musings and anyone who can’t appeal to the dominant political mass.

People will be moved whether it is Melissa Harris Perry, Al Sharpton, Toure, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Alex Wagner, Jose Diaz-Balart or anyone else. That is just business, but why didn’t these brown faces see the writing on the wall?

 

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Melissa Harris Perry walks off her show after pre-exemptions

 

Why…because these brown face head shots were pretending that influx of brown faces on big screens, small screens and network news wasn’t due to Barack Obama’s presence. As his term winds down these people should have been reflective of the process that gave rise to many of the brown faces we seen daily. Reflective that Barack Obama’s travails allowed these brown faces to provide better for their families, to change zip codes to create viable platforms.

Even though some of those brown faces took their benefactor to task for two terms and eight long years, thanks is still due. They have yet to thank him for the paychecks, the raises, the platforms or the notoriety. Without Obama these brown faces would have kept the marginal outlets they had before his candidacy.

 

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Race and Identity Polices personified

I get it; you earned this position on merit…right. Unfortunately, America seldom works like that—hardly ever. Many of these brown faces did great jobs with their shows and platforms, but no great job a brown face does would be as great as someone with a white one.

                                          Dear: Melissa Harris Perry,

                                          This is not about you. This is about President Barack Obama.

I know Melissa Harris Perry and her audience, didn’t like the repeated back and forth cuts between her segments and election coverage. A lot of people are ‘stanning’ for Melissa, Nerdland, and for a show that featured race and identity politics and Melissa never did get that Beyonce interview. Ultimately, Melissa’s insistence on discussing of Beyone’s video “formation” instead of the political race may have been the last MSNBC straw.

 

 

The cycle is changing and Melissa Harris Perry has an audience, a following and agendas behind her…she’ll be fine.

 

 

MG Hardie

 

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The Force Awakens is full of pomp and circumstance and it is not a particularly good movie but it is a good Star Wars movie. The Force is out of balance in this one. The CGI gets a B-, the diversity angle gets and A, the feminist angle gets an A+ and those angles weren’t thrown in the audience’s face. Everything else was rather sketchy the plot, the pacing, the dialogue, even the damn secrets.

Where to begin…Kylo Ren. This badass can freeze a laser blast with his back turned. He can sense his father’s presence when he lands on a planet, but he walks blindly down a scaffold searching for his father who is hiding 20 feet away from him. Ren spends half the film literally throwing tantrums while wearing a vocorder mask that he doesn’t need. Darth Vader had a mask on because he had asthma; Ren wears it try to be something he’s not. Even Han Solo says “Take off that mask, you don’t need it.”

The fact that Kylo Ren abilities allows him to kill Luke Skywalker’s Jedi pupils, but he battles the kindhearted storm trooper in a 5 minute lightsaber battle, should be enough to make any righteous Star Wars fan vomit in their mouth…just a little bit. Then Ren is bested by Rey, who may be strong with the Force but has never used the force, never been trained and who moments earlier said that the force was all a myth.

I know those are but minor quibbles…right, we finally got a good Star Wars film…just be happy. You could just be happy with your mediocre job, your mediocre car and your mediocre love life or you could want more, you could want better or you could just settle. That’s not all of the flaws you could take every major character and write a paragraph or two of WTF’s on them…really.

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The Star Killer base took forever to fire, and I mean forever. It was probably the longest 15 minutes in science fiction film history. A legend dies and their love ones just move on, you don’t even feel the loss.The dedicated Captain Phasma the platinum boss storm trooper just lowers the planet’s shields because, ex-storm trooper, Finn points a blaster at her while he asks her to.

After Han and Leia find each other Leia shows more warmth to Rey and Chewie than to her husband. Every scene Han with Leia seemed forced even that one tepid hug. Their chemistry is colder than the Hoth planet.

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Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires is Part Novel, Part Graphic Novel, All Vampire

If the Republic was reorganized after Episode VI, then The First Order would be a ‘terrorist’ organization, and referred to as resistance. In The Force Awakens there are two separate resistance groups, one affiliated with the dark side of the force which can build starships, huge planet destroying machines and amasses great armies, the other affiliated with the light side of the force, which in 30 years haven’t changed the X-Wing fighter much, nor have they developed a missile, bomb or any other large scale weapon, also they seem to like to hide in jungles and dirty caves… So why are make a film about them again?

The Force Awakens foes produce an even greater respect for the first Star Wars films. All of the characters in The Force Awakens just seem conflicted; you don’t feel the evil just oozing out of Ren, just like you don’t feel the love coming from Leia. I don’t know why they needed Andy Serkis to play the Supreme Leader Snoke, he really doesn’t do much. I do know why…name recognition.

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Harrison Ford as Han Solo, Carrie Fisher as Leia and Mark Hamill as Skywalker all perform admirably when they aren’t on screen together…especially Ford. Daisy Ridley’s performance as Rey is strong and vulnerable. The Force Awaken is a remix and homage, perhaps too much, of the original films.

The Force Awakens is one big trailer for the new few films in the Disney franchise anyway. The film is nonsensical, predictable, it’s fun and it moves along quickly, but it’s not enjoyable the way the original “Star Wars” was. The dialogue, comaradery and witticisms are nowhere on par with The Empire Strikes Back. If the producers didn’t want The Force Awakens to be compared with those legendary films, they wouldn’t have borrowed everything this film is from them. After you see The Force Awakens go back and watch Episodes IV and V if nothing else.

The first half of the film is pretty much littered with bullshit and nostalgia. The second half is really the meat of the film. The film gets a solid C because it’s fun and all of the characters have their moments, especially Finn, played by John Boyega and Rey. There is a bit of hope that those two get together but political correctness already has Finn in a coma and Rey rolling around the galaxy with Chewbacca.

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No matter how dire the situation is Rey never really needs any help, think Richard B. Riddick in 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick. Rey who has never flown can pilot a starship like an expert, Finn can shoot blasters and laser turrets like a pro. Rey can mind probe, mind trick and lightsaber duel better than Yoda…talk about being overpowered.

It will take a few more films for people to realize Luke Skywalker was really just some asshole living on an island planet, playing with people’s minds so he can use them as conduits for the force.

Through the prequels we have come to know the Jedi and the Sith as arrogant, ill-prepared bumblers, cowards and dark cloak wearing idiots… The best thing about The Force Awakens is that none of that exist here. There are moments in the second half of the film that manage to capture the magic of the original film, but even those moments are fleeting.

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Half way through the film Han Solo implores his new companions “Don’t stare!”, when all the director wants the audience to do is stare. This is how easy a mark the movie going public has become. Director J.J. Abrams wants to piss people off, he’s like Quentin Tarantino in a way. They both do things in a movies just because they can, not because those things are necessary. Abrams gives us views of  hollowed out AT AT’s, imperial cruisers wrecked in the desert and a mangled, burned and ripped up Vader mask as message to Star Wars fans; that message… you are boldly going where you haven’t gone before.

After seeing this film, you should realize that those singular Star Wars moments were never meant to be captured again.

 

republicans

People of color are quick to say that the Republicans are racist, meanwhile the Democrats, who aren’t racist, haven’t even slightly improved the lives of people of color. But what is Racism, as an American social construct is an ideology of hate and particularly an ideology of hatred directed toward people of color. This word itself refers to any attitude towards individuals and groups of people which posits a direct linear connection between physical and mental qualities. It therefore attributes to those individuals and groups of people collective traits, physical, mental, and moral, which are constant and unalterable by human will, because they believed to be caused by hereditary factors or external influences, such as climate or geography.

While it is true that an individual may not have racial intent, but that individual’s actions may nonetheless have racial consequence. And that individual need not adhere to white supremacist ideology to benefit from its effects or to be injured by it. However, there is an undeniable psychological wage of whiteness, all too often the reward for blackness is a bullet…Mr. President this is the Wage Gap. Today in America, racial justice is beyond redistribution.

“…a psychological bird that told him that no matter how bad off he was, at least he was a white man, better than the Black man.”- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

People complain that Mexicans are taking their jobs; they complain that Asian Americans are taking over their country; they complain that Blacks are ruining their neighborhood – this is a concept of ownership. This is a concept that gave rise to the political slogans “Take Our Country Back” and “Make This Country Great Again”.

Many people of color don’t like the republicans, they feel the Republicans are amnesiac racist and corporate opportunist that would kick their own mother out of a wheelchair if it made them a dollar, yet these people of color are the main consumers of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Frito Lays products, etc the very products that sustain and support the Republican Party and its candidates.

Ben Carson and Donald Trump

As if either of these guys has a shot at winning…

In a default setting people of color have allowed, enabled, so-called racist from both political parties to rule over them.

What could cause people of color vote against their own best interest? What could causes them not to create a political party for them and by them? What is it that causes them to continually watch the very thing they claim to hate? What causes them yell racist and at the same time support “racist” policies and parties with their hard earned dollar? What is it that makes them no groom people of color for political office? What is it that causes them to beg for help from their “oppressor” in a park, while singing old spiritual songs? What could makes them stand for the lesser of two evils while their communities crumble around them?

Slave labor and sex trafficking is still coming in from the southern border…right. Reparations still haven’t been paid…right. Middle Easterners are still being bombed…right. Drugs are still ravaging communities…right. People of color are still being incarcerated at a three times higher rate than Whites…right.

Mrs. Clinton actually called Blacks “Super Predators” and not your lives don’t matter. Meanwhile Mr. Clinton is apologizing for the “unintended consequences” of mass incarceration, who the hell else were they going to lock up for profit…people that looked like him…

Every time you turn around the Department of Justice is investigating another incident (Just to calm you down)…right. You are still working hard every single day to make ends meet…right. College tuition is still rising…right. Wars are still being funded…right.

Hillary Clinton

Voting for someone who looks like you or is the same gender as you, may make you feel better, but how is that really working out? It is’t the Republicans or the Republican Party that has amnesia, perhaps it is the people of color who have amnesia.

MGHardie

Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires

Are you a Vampire fan, a Fantasy enthusiast? Yet you paused when you looked at the new novel Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires?

While you were reading this novel on the train did you feel as if people were staring at you?

Did you ask yourself…WTF, why black vampires?

Leading up to the release of Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires, I received emails saying…Why did you have to make the vampires Black… Followed by my standard reply of “Did you send Stephanie Meyer, Ann Rice or any other fantasy authors ask similar questioning email?”

With black people being gunned down by the police, shot down in the street for no reason and being marginalized as second class citizens what harm could a white book with a black power fist in the middle of it cause you on your way to work.

You have movements where the people of color protest at a predetermined time, in an approved park but many don’t want the daily questions that come with being a person of color in America. People of color don’t want to wear blackness on their sleeve, they don’t want the eyes on them, and they don’t want the questions…

“Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don’t want to be around each other? No… Before you come asking Mr. Muhammad does he teach hate, you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God made you.”—Malcolm X

That is called hiding in plain sight. It is not pride; it is the psychological effect of centuries of white supremacy. White Supremacy is not limited to individual thought and behavioral patterns, it is something ingrained in the collective psyche of a group.

“… to be white is to be human and all others are subhuman, savages, beasts of burden to be worked, raped, beaten and robbed – they deserve what they get and little else can be expected of them anyway.”- Bell Hooks

When you look at most urban novels, you see almost naked women and men, guns, drugs, expensive cars and titles like ‘Hood Hoe 17’ and ‘Twerk Momma 7’. If you read those novels on the train there will be no eyes on you, there will be no questions to answer because those images are what American white supremacy has been selling and that is what many have been buying for years.

To this end Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires was conceived to place characters that are unapologetic, revolutionary and Blacks front and center. This novel may be about vampires but the world is reflected in-between its lines.

Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires is about a lot more than being a vampire. Shake the bonds of white supremacy by using your detector whenever possible.

ISBN: 978-0-9968296-0-1 (Color Edition)

ISBN: 978-0-9968296-2-5 (Standard Edition)

ISBN: 978-0-9968296-1-8 (eBook)

President Barack Obama

Ohio’s school district suspended a teacher without pay for allegedly telling an African-American student, “We don’t need another black president.” Far be it form me to criticize the protocol for disciplining teachers, but the call for this teacher’s”firing” is overboard. It is overboard one because the media isn’t filling synapses with more urgent and pressing matters, and two if history is any indicator the teacher is right. We don’t need another black president.

America doesn’t need a female president (sorry Hillary). America doesn’t need a Hispanic or an Asian president. I know people will not like that but it’s the truth. America doesn’t need another ethnic, hyphenated, or sub group American as president if they are going to do exactly what a white male would do. America doesn’t need a female president, if she is going to do what her white male counterpart would do, just so we can celebrate that she is female. Yes those with agendas and predisposed mental conditions would cheer any selection from the selected, but they too will realize that electing someone doesn’t meant that someone represents your concerns, even if they claim to (see Worst Congress Ever). These others, (non-white males) have different experiences, different upbringings and different philosophies but once elect all of those qualities are muted by lobbyist and party lines. With all the talk of inclusion and diversity you don’t see either ruling party grooming any “minority” for the highest office in 2016, now do you? And that should tell you all you need to know.

Saving the auto industry

This does not mean the President is not to be commended for enduring all of the family attacks, the coded-racial slings and arrows. he has recovered masterfully from his mis-steps and endured the fickle whims of an under informed public. Under President Barack Obama the economy is stronger, the supreme court has a Hispanic justice, marijuana is legal, unemployment is down, homosexuals can marry, homeless veterans have housing, wall street has been reformed, the auto industry has been saved, the war in Iraq is over, women are paid equally as men, the stock market is higher than it has ever been and every American has healthcare coverage.

Presidential Family

The pricelessness of forcing whites to stomach the daily presence of a black family, for most was enough to case the 1st vote for Barack Obama.

It may not be as far off as you think

 Through the eyes of history President Barack Obama will likely go down as the greatest president to have ever lived.

What President Barack Obama has done is exactly what needed to be done. It may have nuanced, but there was nothing extraordinary about it. He just happened to be president when they occurred. The previous President, George Bush, had America teetering on collapse and the American people were not having anymore Republican party policies shoved down their throats. The top 1% and media knew that the present conditions were unsustainable so they gave Americans a choice the black guy or the lady, and then they pushed Americans to the easier-to-deal with choice of the black guy. The republicans threw the 2008 election and the rest is history (they have to run someone to get the monies right?) And the black guy office and he took all of the hits, like he was supposed to and he has catered to every major group there was.

Drone on

President Barack Obama is also authorizing the use of remote control drones to kill people, so much so that this usages has now crept into police usage. He has allowed the NSA, CIA and the FBI the freedom to collect every bit of data there is on everyone, forever erasing the any notion of privacy. He has been far too accommodating to those who have impeded every one of his congressional pushes. He said that his administration would be transparent, but it hasn’t been. He has allowed lobbyist to work in his administration. He hasn’t placed a tariff on companies that do not provide barely sustainable wages to employees. Scores of innocent people, according to the DOJ, are incarcerated unknowingly. He has not fined or ended discrimination in internet purchases. He is still fundraising by millions. Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program has soared by 70 percent since he took office, He has not required companies selling and or operating in the U.S. to establish a non-slave wage for workers in third wold countries. He has not taken money out of politics. He has not fined, nor ended nightclub gender discrimination. He has done nothing about securing America’s southern border and has refused to enforce federal immigration laws. He ordered criminal investigations of reporters. He has dismissed any mention of reparations. He used the IRS to target conservatives. He bailed out the banks after their collapse.

“I’m a warrior for the middle class”, he has always bashed the rich and talks about helping the middle class, but hasn’t. American children graduating from high school, test scores average a 7th grade reading levels and 8th grade math level, and this hasn’t changed since he’s been in office and nothing he has done shows that America is serious about education our youth. He did not close Guantanamo Bay detention camp as he promised, it still houses detainees. He has a kill list, a list that has the locations of people he would like to pursue lethal action against. He has done nothing to end the failed war on drugs policies. He has done noting to reduce the states immoral need to incarcerate citizens for profit. He has not had his attorney general office review the thousands of racially biased laws…

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President Barack Obama has ignored the common folk, the every man, America’s backbone. For them taxes are high taxes, prices on mass produced items never go down, power is still centralized in political parties, gas prices are twice as high, a subtle class war has begun, and the regulations that face small businesses are burdensome. Since he has been in office the disparity between the rich and poor has never been greater.

“The idea that so many children are born into poverty in the wealthiest nation on Earth is heartbreaking enough. But the idea that a child may never be able to escape that poverty because she lacks a decent education or health care or a community that views her future as their own, that should offend all of us,”- President Barack Obama. Fortunately for President Obama there is still time for him to address many of these concerns.

No America doesn’t need a woman, Hispanic, Asian, and certainty not another black president. What America needs is an individual. An individual who will do the right thing. America needs a president who won’t just spew party platforms and follow party lines. America needs a president who will not bow to lobbyist, corporatism, special interest groups. If that were to happen that will be the only president for who gender and race does not matter. That is also a president, America won’t be allowed to have.

MG

Karrine and Lil Wayne

Dear Karrine Steffans,

I ride for you. I really do. Most people have no idea why. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Dr. Ebony Utley, a writer and an associate professor of communication at California State University Long Beach. I write and teach about popular culture and relationships. When Confessions of a Video Vixen dropped, I assigned it to my hip hop class and made all my students purchase it.

Confessions was important because it forced readers to contextualize a vixen’s life. After my students exhausted all the different ways they could call you a ho, I pushed them to move past their judgments and critique gendered double standards about sexuality. I demanded that they imagine how it would change them if they were sexually assaulted, abused, and abandoned as a young girl. I encouraged them to consider the conditions that lead to escapism through sex, drugs, alcohol, and hip hop fantasies. Your book was a perfect opportunity to discuss how and why women make choices in a man’s world. I asked them to respect the chutzpah of a woman not that much older than they were who put it all out there—haters be damned.

When it came time to build my brand, I modeled it after yours. Your early websites were my favorites. I learned form you that pink is a power color. You taught me how to be sexy and smart. I subscribe to the newsletter, buy the books, read the damn blog. In fact, The Vixen Manual is kinda like an Our Bodies, Ourselves for the hip hop generation. Okay, that’s an overstatement, but the pictures were a nice touch.

Your newest book How to Make Love to A Martian was a birthday gift to myself and it continues your prosex, prochoice advocacy. It was a brave decision to share your abortion story. It was also an important decision in a world where women’s rights to choose are being systematically stripped away.

Baby News: Fuck!

Four Weeks

And while Martian is a page-tuner, I’ve got to draw a line. The “love” that you and Lil Wayne have is dangerous. I know you have a niche. I know you have a core audience with expectations. I know you need to make that money, but I can’t ride for you and let other people think that your depiction of love is okay with me. Now, I generally don’t make a habit of telling people they love wrong. I’ve been flying around the country collecting definitions of love from women and children for my research, and I know there are as many definitions as there are people.

For my current project Shades of Infidelity, I’m interviewing women about their experiences with infidelity, and I’ve asked all of them to define love. I’ve learned so much about life and love that this isn’t me passing judgment on your open relationship with Lil Wayne. This is me telling you that a relationship that lacks mutual trust, respect, and honest communication isn’t a healthy love. Here come the spoilers. You define love as “the spirit of caring to the maximum level of shared connection.” Fine. Then you describe love with Wayne:

“Wayne didn’t want to know everything or anything at all, except that I loved him.”

“Wayne was loving me the way he wanted to love me, but I was loving him the way he needed to be loved.”

“He was a jealous and possessive man when it came to the women he loved. He never wanted to hear about other men. Ever. Even though all this women had no choice but to hear about all his other women and accept it.”

All bad, Karrine. Per your own definition, you’re coming up short. Is this what the maximum level of connection looks like? More importantly is this what the maximum level of connection looks like?

I know you’re both working and these representations are part of your jobs. I’m certain they fail to accurately reflect the extent of your relationship, but for all the babygirls that are fans of yours, I need them to know that:

  • When you can’t talk to your partner about that time he hurt your feelings when he flew you across the country, holed you up in a hotel, and never showed up to meet you, it’s not okay
  • Sleeping with his friend just to make him jealous instead of telling him that his getting everybody pregnant and you hearing about it on the street was hurtful, is not ideal.
  • Being in a relationship where there is no reciprocity is not a healthy relationship.

If you were just sexing Wayne for pleasure, that would be fine (although I’m not entirely sure what you see in him), but to call what you describe in Martian as love is not fine. Not. At. All.

Raw

I agree. Sometimes a man and a woman have an understanding that even they don’t understand. I have been there. But this is not that. There’s no understanding. He hurts your feelings. You swallow them. You try to move on. Love relationships require communication to achieve that understanding and that maximum level of connection. I need to communicate to you that you deserve better. You’ve been hurt. A lot. But don’t give up on yourself. Learn from your mistakes. Olivia Pope is wrong (but that’s another post). Love is not supposed to hurt more than it heals you. Love yourself first. Tell yourself the truth about this unhealthy relationship. If you can agree not to glamorize the pain anymore, I’ll agree to keep riding for you. Can you and I share that understanding?

Dr. Ebony Utley
The Woman with Ideas
theutleyexperience.com

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