Lucky to Survive…

The funnel cloud passed over and I could feel the air pressure change. I heard the house creaking, The sound was deafening. You can’t see anything. You can’t hear shit aside from wood splintering and breaking.

The first shake of the house and it started to split and for a brief moment I saw a light that went away almost immediately. The roof bucked and heaved and then it was gone. When the roof ripped off, that’s when I knew things weren’t going to be okay.

Inside of the house I was being thrown around like a rag doll. I was tossed from the house onto the pavement outside. On the pavement I was hit from all sides by debris and that’s when blacked out. I survived and my neighbor’s homes were untouched.

I have always wondered… why me?

Was it THEM?

 

Through faith, I survived two bear attacks

On a sunny day I stepped out into a meadow. I watched the flowers slowly move in the breeze. I breathed in the fresh air and looked around. I took a few steps; on my third step is when I spotted a grizzly bear with her cubs on the trail at the upper end of the meadow. Maybe if I quietly turn around and left maybe they wouldn’t see me, but the grizzly saw me right away, and they all ran up the trail.

But then for some reason she stopped, turned, and charged straight for me. I screamed so she would know I was human, hoping she’d turn back.  My noises only seem to quicken her pace towards me; at 25 feet I doused her with bear spray. Her momentum caused a cut out of her galloping body in the orange mist. She jumped at me and I dove face-first into the dirt and wrapped my arms around the back of my neck for protection.

She was on top of me, biting my arms, shoulders, and backpack. Her teeth went through my forearm, right into the bone “and I heard a crunch.” The force of each bite was like a sledgehammer with teeth. Over and over she bit me. I lay there playing dead for what felt like hours but was merely minutes, she suddenly disappeared.

I picked myself up, stunned that I was able to walk. I started back down the trail toward my truck, three miles below. About five or ten minutes down the trail, I heard a growl and turned. It was the grizzly, bearing down on me at 30 feet.  A ten inch paw knocked me quickly to the ground.

Again I protected the back of my neck with my arms and kept tight against the ground to protect my face and eyes. She slammed down on top of me and bit my shoulder and arm. My hand instantly went numb, and the wrist and fingers were limp and unusable. The sudden pain made me flinch and gasp for breath.

My gasping sounds triggered a frenzy of bites to my shoulder and upper back. I knew I couldn’t move or make a sound again, so stayed motionless through the pain. Another couple bites to my head caused a gash to open above my ear….I didn’t move. Blood gushed over my face and into my eyes… I didn’t move. She would eventually hit an artery in my neck, and I’d bleed out.

Suddenly the bites stopped; only the sound of her heavy breathing and sniffing remained. I could feel her hot breath on the back of my neck and her three inch claws digging into my lower back below my backpack, where she stood. I could smell the pungent odor she emitted. For 30 seconds, she stood there crushing me, smashing my chest into the ground and my forehead in the dirt. And then nothing.

I tried to look out but my eyes were full of blood. I wiped the blood from one eye and looked around. No bear. I stood up and moved quickly down the trail again. Forty-five minutes later, I got into my truck and drove 17 miles to the hospital.

Most of the punctures and tears were on my arms and shoulder. It took doctors eight hours to stitch me back together. The next day, I woke up with dark bruising in the shape of claws across my lower back where the bear had stood on me, but I was alive. A six-inch gash along the side of my head will forever be a reminder of this bear attack but I thanked God for getting me through this.

What made the bear attack? He survived the first attack; he survived the second attack and was thankful he survived. Was playing dead that effective?  Was the way he guarded his head and neck, enough to prevent dead from the 450 lb grizzly, perhaps it was…THEM.

 

 

Dear: Melissa Harris Perry, This is not about you.

Network television is changing. They are reshuffling the deck to appeal to larger audiences. They are getting rid of liberals, but they are really getting rid President Barack Obama’s musings and anyone who can’t appeal to the dominant political mass.

People will be moved whether it is Melissa Harris Perry, Al Sharpton, Toure, Joy Reid, Ronan Farrow, Alex Wagner, Jose Diaz-Balart or anyone else. That is just business, but why didn’t these brown faces see the writing on the wall?

 

Melissa Harris Perry walks off her show after pre-exemptions

 

Why…because these brown face head shots were pretending that influx of brown faces on big screens, small screens and network news wasn’t due to Barack Obama’s presence. As his term winds down these people should have been reflective of the process that gave rise to many of the brown faces we seen daily. Reflective that Barack Obama’s travails allowed these brown faces to provide better for their families, to change zip codes to create viable platforms.

Even though some of those brown faces took their benefactor to task for two terms and eight long years, thanks is still due. They have yet to thank him for the paychecks, the raises, the platforms or the notoriety. Without Obama these brown faces would have kept the marginal outlets they had before his candidacy.

 

Race and Identity Polices personified

I get it; you earned this position on merit…right. Unfortunately, America seldom works like that—hardly ever. Many of these brown faces did great jobs with their shows and platforms, but no great job a brown face does would be as great as someone with a white one.

                                          Dear: Melissa Harris Perry,

                                          This is not about you. This is about President Barack Obama.

I know Melissa Harris Perry and her audience, didn’t like the repeated back and forth cuts between her segments and election coverage. A lot of people are ‘stanning’ for Melissa, Nerdland, and for a show that featured race and identity politics and Melissa never did get that Beyonce interview. Ultimately, Melissa’s insistence on discussing of Beyone’s video “formation” instead of the political race may have been the last MSNBC straw.

 

 

The cycle is changing and Melissa Harris Perry has an audience, a following and agendas behind her…she’ll be fine.

 

 

MG Hardie

 

Star Wars: The Force Not Quite Awake

 

 

The Force Awakens is full of pomp and circumstance and it is not a particularly good movie but it is a good Star Wars movie. The Force is out of balance in this one. The CGI gets a B-, the diversity angle gets and A, the feminist angle gets an A+ and those angles weren’t thrown in the audience’s face. Everything else was rather sketchy the plot, the pacing, the dialogue, even the damn secrets.

Where to begin…Kylo Ren. This badass can freeze a laser blast with his back turned. He can sense his father’s presence when he lands on a planet, but he walks blindly down a scaffold searching for his father who is hiding 20 feet away from him. Ren spends half the film literally throwing tantrums while wearing a vocorder mask that he doesn’t need. Darth Vader had a mask on because he had asthma; Ren wears it try to be something he’s not. Even Han Solo says “Take off that mask, you don’t need it.”

The fact that Kylo Ren abilities allows him to kill Luke Skywalker’s Jedi pupils, but he battles the kindhearted storm trooper in a 5 minute lightsaber battle, should be enough to make any righteous Star Wars fan vomit in their mouth…just a little bit. Then Ren is bested by Rey, who may be strong with the Force but has never used the force, never been trained and who moments earlier said that the force was all a myth.

I know those are but minor quibbles…right, we finally got a good Star Wars film…just be happy. You could just be happy with your mediocre job, your mediocre car and your mediocre love life or you could want more, you could want better or you could just settle. That’s not all of the flaws you could take every major character and write a paragraph or two of WTF’s on them…really.

The Star Killer base took forever to fire, and I mean forever. It was probably the longest 15 minutes in science fiction film history. A legend dies and their love ones just move on, you don’t even feel the loss.The dedicated Captain Phasma the platinum boss storm trooper just lowers the planet’s shields because, ex-storm trooper, Finn points a blaster at her while he asks her to.

After Han and Leia find each other Leia shows more warmth to Rey and Chewie than to her husband. Every scene Han with Leia seemed forced even that one tepid hug. Their chemistry is colder than the Hoth planet.

Midnight: Rise of the Black Vampires is Part Novel, Part Graphic Novel, All Vampire

If the Republic was reorganized after Episode VI, then The First Order would be a ‘terrorist’ organization, and referred to as resistance. In The Force Awakens there are two separate resistance groups, one affiliated with the dark side of the force which can build starships, huge planet destroying machines and amasses great armies, the other affiliated with the light side of the force, which in 30 years haven’t changed the X-Wing fighter much, nor have they developed a missile, bomb or any other large scale weapon, also they seem to like to hide in jungles and dirty caves… So why are make a film about them again?

The Force Awakens foes produce an even greater respect for the first Star Wars films. All of the characters in The Force Awakens just seem conflicted; you don’t feel the evil just oozing out of Ren, just like you don’t feel the love coming from Leia. I don’t know why they needed Andy Serkis to play the Supreme Leader Snoke, he really doesn’t do much. I do know why…name recognition.

Harrison Ford as Han Solo, Carrie Fisher as Leia and Mark Hamill as Skywalker all perform admirably when they aren’t on screen together…especially Ford. Daisy Ridley’s performance as Rey is strong and vulnerable. The Force Awaken is a remix and homage, perhaps too much, of the original films.

The Force Awakens is one big trailer for the new few films in the Disney franchise anyway. The film is nonsensical, predictable, it’s fun and it moves along quickly, but it’s not enjoyable the way the original “Star Wars” was. The dialogue, comaradery and witticisms are nowhere on par with The Empire Strikes Back. If the producers didn’t want The Force Awakens to be compared with those legendary films, they wouldn’t have borrowed everything this film is from them. After you see The Force Awakens go back and watch Episodes IV and V if nothing else.

The first half of the film is pretty much littered with bullshit and nostalgia. The second half is really the meat of the film. The film gets a solid C because it’s fun and all of the characters have their moments, especially Finn, played by John Boyega and Rey. There is a bit of hope that those two get together but political correctness already has Finn in a coma and Rey rolling around the galaxy with Chewbacca.

No matter how dire the situation is Rey never really needs any help, think Richard B. Riddick in 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick. Rey who has never flown can pilot a starship like an expert, Finn can shoot blasters and laser turrets like a pro. Rey can mind probe, mind trick and lightsaber duel better than Yoda…talk about being overpowered.

It will take a few more films for people to realize Luke Skywalker was really just some asshole living on an island planet, playing with people’s minds so he can use them as conduits for the force.

Through the prequels we have come to know the Jedi and the Sith as arrogant, ill-prepared bumblers, cowards and dark cloak wearing idiots… The best thing about The Force Awakens is that none of that exist here. There are moments in the second half of the film that manage to capture the magic of the original film, but even those moments are fleeting.

Half way through the film Han Solo implores his new companions “Don’t stare!”, when all the director wants the audience to do is stare. This is how easy a mark the movie going public has become. Director J.J. Abrams wants to piss people off, he’s like Quentin Tarantino in a way. They both do things in a movies just because they can, not because those things are necessary. Abrams gives us views of  hollowed out AT AT’s, imperial cruisers wrecked in the desert and a mangled, burned and ripped up Vader mask as message to Star Wars fans; that message… you are boldly going where you haven’t gone before.

After seeing this film, you should realize that those singular Star Wars moments were never meant to be captured again.

 

 

Smashing the Homie

I was going to marry the mother of my daughter.

I was working a regular nine to five.

I had just got promoted to supervisor and everything.

I came home early one day and there she was, smashing the homie.

The whole time I was fucking dude up, she was saying

“you’re always working!”,

“you’re never home!”

While I was choking old dude I kept thinking “that bitch just didn’t love me!”

I was hurting him, because it was hurting me.

When I was in county jail, she kept visiting me saying “I’m sorry”, this that and the third.

She even told me how much she really needed me.

When I got out I went over to her house and there she was,

pregnant by this other dude and he was kicking her ass and shit.

It almost made the GPS bracket worth wearing.

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Why I Am Gay

My mother and father used to argue and fight a lot, so one day he left us.

My mother got so caught up chasing after

no good,

no account negroes

that she completely forgot about me.

I grew up really wanting her love,

wanting her to love me.

I never got it.

I remember it started long before freeze-tag. I always like to  put on

my mothers shoes.

You remember the Road Runner Show, the one with Wile. E. Coyote–

well that’s all I was thinking about.

I wasn’t even thinking about “hide-n-go-get-it”,

when these so-called men started touching on me.

The whole time they were doing these things to me they were telling

me that it was love,

that it was right.

“If you don’t do it, I’m ah tell your mother.”

I learned and was told shit that I shouldn’t have known or done until

I was grown.

I tried to tell some family members, but they didn’t want to talk about it.

It was like I deserved it,

like I asked for it.

So I grew up afraid.

I hit puberty and my feelings of love for my mother turned sexual.

And all of a sudden

I was attracted to her,

her,

and her,

but anger is what made me perpetuate it.

Somewhere along the line a part of me liked the feelings the sex brought.

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Not Worthy

I can’t even explain it, women make fun of other women all the time. They nit-pick, tear down and

just search for something not to like. Some of them are down right messy sometimes. We are

supposed to work together , not nurturing hate. That’s why I feel more comfortable around men. I

had enough of people  distorting my relationships.

I remember being chased home from school being made fun of because of my clothes or my hair.

So you turn to the church, but they preach that you aren’t worthy.

Your friends tell you that you aren’t worthy.

At home you hear that you’re not worth.

The television shows you as not worthy.

The man you picked says that you’re not worthy.

Celebrate yourself, love yourself, own your worth.

You hate on others when you see them changing their world

and you can’t change yours…

and that’s the bottom line.

 

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The First (El Primo)

I’ve seen what a real father is.

My parents migrated to his country; they lived in New York’s barrios.

The Nuyorican hardships is what caused them to come west.

My father worked fourteen hour days for next to nothing and

mi madre worked her fingers and feet crooked to give us a better life.

In public, she still walks with her head down.

We are despised, discriminated against, but just as

things are changing for blacks, look at us…

We have quarterback professional football teams, we hosted late night talk shows

and we even have a wise Latina on the highest court.

I was the first in my family to graduate high school,

the first to impress whites, who thought I couldn’t read, with my English.

the first embarrass my parents with my Espanol

and the first to date a black woman.

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Momma Cried and Wouldn’t Stop Crying

There is a Santa Claus because momma cried and wouldn’t stop crying. When we couldn’t pay our bills and we got put out that, Christmas momma cried momma and wouldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t even our house it was Grandma’s and I tried. I tried to be to be good, but I was just a kid full of questions and momma cried and wouldn’t stop crying. That winter was the first time I wondered about my skin color because Grandma made us watch Roots.

It wasn’t so bad because my cousins were there, but it still didn’t feel like home. My brother and sister didn’t know why daddy left and momma cried and wouldn’t stop crying. Momma tucked me in with smile, but I heard her leave that night. When I ran down the stairs in the morning I saw my name on some gifts. I ripped them open. I can remember having G.I. Joe in my hand; it was just when the Classic Collection came out. And I asked momma how did Santa Clause find me? And momma cried and wouldn’t stop crying…

MG Hardie

 

I Didn’t Have a Television

I read all those books in school I had to read because I didn’t have a television until I was ten and when I finally got one it was a black and white piece of shit, but it worked. I got a color one at 14 and it was like Christmas everyday. We lived in a four wall shack. I never had a room of my own sometimes I had to share my room with bichotes, Pimps and Prostitutas so we could make rent that month, which was cool because times were hard, but at least we were making rent, ya know.

All I could do at night was read and when I heard the sirens I would get my pencils and draw all the places my mind wanted to go. In my drawings I think I have traveled further than anyone but most of the time my stomach growled louder than my wildest imaginings.

MG Hardie